Let’s make this quick, because we’re in the middle of watching Jersey Shore.

Here’s a list of why Mark DeRosa would be a terrible signing for the Yankees:

1. Who cares if he can play every position if he stinks at most of them (OF being the exception).
2. He’s coming off wrist surgery and his worst season since 2005 (highlighted by a .319 OBP)
3. He’ll be 35.
4. Other utility guys like Chone Figgins and Placido Polanco have set the market with multi-year deals.

Signing DeRosa is a move the Mets would make (assuming he was of Hispanic descent), not the Yankees.