The Yankees are ugly, and though they have no weakness
Teixeira looks like he should be running the Preakness
Rivera has acne like a fourteen year old chick
And Posada’s grill? Damn, I’m about to be sick!

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Andy Pettitte leads a very pious life
Except for one thing yo, he cheats on his wife
Cut the brother some slack, ’cause he reads the bible
And when he reads this, Imma get sued for libel

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Lots of changes in the Bronx, no more Johnny Damon
No more Wang or Matsui, what, does Cashman hate Asians?
But we got Brett Gardner, hey, now what could be finer
Than the anemic bat of a glorified Jason Tyner

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Dear A-Jax, we’ll miss your potential
And Melky’s walkoffs were almost presidential
But Grandy and Javy’s stealth adds get mad props
And we’ve got Gardner running faster than Buchholz steals laptops.

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Nicky J makes his return to the one and only Boogie Down
‘Cause Boras tried to play us, but Cash threw his ass to the ground
So there’s a lesson for those who think the Yankees will be f’ed with
Cash Money’s not just the man, he’s the legend, and the myth.

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Long live the high fade and Jeter’s reputation,
With baseball and the ladies, he shows pure domination
He’s got a whole other hand that could use a couple rings
And he knows it’s never over until Pete Abraham sings.

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Two-Thousand-Nine was a year to remember
Yanks built for October, the Sawx for September
Heading to the series with our pen feeling strong
Cause C.C. ate up those innings like Chesnutt eats foot longs.

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Walkin Macombs Bridge with my mitt in my hand
say hey motherfucker I’m a Yankees fan
spot the hot dog man on River Avenue
gotta get set for a few domestic brews

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Round your eyes and cross your t’s
the asians are gone, now we can see!
Mariano is old, and so is Jeet
but that don’t matter with PEDs!

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Razor shines’ a misnomer he’s dull and he’s wack
Coming on here and starting a Yankees attack
I betcha a c-note that fag’s from beantown
cuz that queen with lame facial hair pees sitting down

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I thought you knew, but allow me to rehash
You step to the Razor, and you gonna get slashed
As sure as Sabathia’s belly grows wider
Ignorant fans like Mixx are worse than Al-Qaeda

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You’re a drop in the bucket of course nobody knows
Yankee fans don’t follow you Boston Homos
Now just like I’m Fifty and you like Ja Rule
Go back to obscurity after attendin spit school

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Those scrappy underdogs, they tried to do it
But before long, the best closah evah blew it
2004? nah son, just shut up and stop
Go cry in your beah cause the N-Y-Y is back on top

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She like hot dogs man,
She made my hot dog stand
Pedroia kobiyashi’d the whole team
I like hot dogs, man

Killa!

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yo,

with the right lyrics and the right temper i step upon your temple
i bust a nut on yo face like if i was busting a pimple
LT likes it up the ass, we all know it, plain and simple
when he sees youk’s penis Lt’s ass smiles and dimples

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He’s a choker, a cancer, the Yankees don’t need him
Yo, forget that he was the MVP of the postseason
But A-Rod’s a slugger, a stud, and da ladies say he’s handsome
So tell Ca$h to trade him cuz we miss Cody Ransom

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They call us bombers cause of the way we drop prose,
Our bats are like pens, the wins always flow,
So baby kiss the rings, cashed out head to toe,
Fuck Damon, we don’t need no Major League hoes.

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Check out the newest Yankee, we call him Nick the Stick
Don’t call him that for how he swings a bat but for how he swings his dick
Are you jealous Papi or did those ‘roids just shrink your prick?
Nick’ll shoot a load and smack ya with his chode just like he did with Damon’s chick

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Take a knee Matsui, sayonara, won’t miss ya
Better yet, take three knees, you might need the extra
Check your porn stash and fly to LA on Delta
‘Cuz Johnson bangs hits like Derek bangs Minka

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Ca$hmoney, baby, yo my man’s so frugal
He’s got a dream like King, and he’s so regal
It’s like he’s slingin’ ‘caine, his moves should be illegal
But he just wants that ring so bad like Smeagol

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Hudsons gone but A-Rod will be fine
On Valentines Day, he said Diaz be mine
But we all know that A-Rod be a playa
He better watch his game so he aint a mastabata

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In Ca$hmoney We Trust should be on every coin in this nation
Theo would be begging for change to take his team on vacation
Instead of playing ball go to the Jersey Shore and play some hooky
The Sawx got so little game they couldn’t get laid by Snooki

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this is personal, i will make it clear and well put
I think that the poster business suit is a real fruit
he talks out of his ass like if his hemorroids were talking in the view
but all that comes out of his mouth is pee ewww

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Photoshop is outstanding.

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Smokin L’s with Swisher, rollin in the ‘dro
Spittin’ out the flow – my name is Robinson Cano
Rollin’ with my boy Melky stackin’ up the dough
“Naw homie, you roll with Javy now.” Oh.

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I think I see Jeter with the repeater
Always meaner with the pistol than a wide receiver
Or a guard, he’ll leave you lying on the pavement
Do a little time then sign with the Baltimore Ravens

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2010 baby

2009 was sweet but in two O ten we already on alert
spring traning is starting and so far noone is hurt
boston improved but we will still leave them eating dirt
peter gammons and espn for them will still squirt

but the yankees are going to win and we gonna let their feelings hurt
there will be no new drama other than another arod flirt
and when that 2010 trophy comes the ladys will pull down their skirt
and ill be proudly be at the parade sporting my free nomass tshirt

wordddddddddd

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mad rhymes, yo! Razor Shines on Andy Pettitte – that is a hot jam! word is bond.

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swisher sweet, gardner fast
add curtis and our outfield looks more like brass
might as well put a giambi stache on cash
cus we are at a new level of class

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Big dome, fillin up yo plasma screen
Talkin pitch counts on the non stop, make a brother scream
‘See Ya’ as a catch phrase, annoying every day
I’m the play by play gangsta Micheal Fuckin Kay

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Deuce hundy inning seasons, rock ‘em on the reg
‘but he can’t pitch in NY’ you betta check yo head
Javy’s back atcha wearin Yankee Pinnies
Backwards K or forewards, striken out a dude an inning

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Pops in a go kart, mamma lab busted up inna N-E-B
Crusin from the strippy, point one three four is my B.A.C
120 on the pitch count, but we’re only in the 3rd frame
Dudes telling broad’s they me, tryin to bite on my fame.

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Back in ‘09 his game was mostly wack
Copped a doui in Nebraska for sippin on the jack
But this year he got no limits, gonna bounce right back
And his momma’s back in prison for sellin rocks of crack

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You hear me bring the rukus 5 sectons away
I rock some markers on the poster every single day
Gimme a beat sucka, hit the spoon up on the pan
Freddy Sez bitches, numba one Yankees fan

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Fans love to hate, got 25 million reasons
check my OPS son, amost a G in 16 seasons
Selena holla’d juicer, fans yell purple lips
Still hangin 8 ball VORPs, don’t need 2 good hips

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Say hello to Johnson, Javy, and Granderson
You know Cashmoney won’t get outdone
Johnny, I hope you think Detroit’s sweet
Next year we’ll be talking about a three-peat

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Cashman rules everything around me,
CREAM,
Spendin’ money,
Let’s win numba 28, yo.

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razor shines your raps suck why are you calling other men ugly you fag

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Red Sox bitches think they tough but they wrong
They got all arrogant when they spanked our Wang
But them pussies is cheesy like the state of Wisconsin
‘Cause I’ll tell you right now: they won’t beat our Johnson

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CashMoney making moves like hes dropping E
Flew Curtis G down from the dirty D
Telling fathead Boras how its gonna be
Saying 13 mil ain’t nothing but your ass ain’t getting it from me

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Time to re-saddle up y’all and mount those horses,
Of course, its the return of the New York bosses,
The staff cuttin up the league like a very thin knife,
reppin for life, the Bronx, we all don the pin-stripes.

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So I here we signed a guy named HO
Wishes he was good as MO
Straight Cash homey aint giving Johnny that dough
Though he wishes he was here when we win with HO

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Nomaas, about as hot as stove tops
deliverin better interviews than the pro’s got
makin know-not blogs rust up like robots
comin to close the game like a classic Mo’ spot

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We rollin’ in the outfield with C-Grand
J-Damon will be workin’ at a beach stand
Doin’ tricks, playing with sticks, all over the land
30 homers, 20 swipes, C-Grand joins to best band

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Sit right back and I’ll tell you a story
‘Bout Yankee championship glory
believe when I say and it ain’t no joke
they couldn’t have done it without Phil Coke…

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No sign of ‘sui, Melks, or Shelley,
but rings are comin’ back to back and belly to belly.
With the ‘Lord of the Rings Crew’ back on the field,
won’t hesitate for 28, and the future is sealed..

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Waldman be da hooch dat no one wants to lay
But it can’t be worse than listening to Kay
Though we still got Waldman, it’s all good yo
‘Cuz we got a Grand, a new Johnson and a new Ho

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Big money, Cash Money and he likes to spend
It’s the reason we competin’ til the very end
They say the best things in life ain’t free, yo
So if you don’t our style then take in the ass like Theo

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Big money, Cash Money and he likes to spend
It’s the reason we competin’ til the very end
They say the best things in life ain’t free, yo
So if you dont like our style then take in the ass like Theo

Revised Version

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he’s got the Drive, the Upside, the Innate talent to thrive
to Draw, Usurp and Improve rotation slot number five
‘course b-jobbers’ll be Detractors: Upset, Irritating
while joba Dominates: Unfazed, Intimidating

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