Great entries this year, and once again proof that the people who visit this site have a few screws loose.
The NoMaas staff reviewed all the submissions and chose 5 finalists. You have until 2pm EST on Friday, Feb 25th to vote for your favorite. The winner will get a free one of these.
FYI – In selecting the finalists, we stuck to those who followed the rules. It was only fair. But, there were some really good verses that went over the 4 lines, and some other verses that had nothing to do with the Yankees, but we were incredibly funny. We gave props to some of these below.
So here we go…
Finalist #1: P_C_
The Yanks can win w/o King Felix I really mean this
You’re over the line Donny, nobody fucks with the Jesus
Lee chose a 2nd rate city thats a bad decision
Becketts from Texas…non steer division
Finalist #2: MC Squared
The Yankees are usually the team to beat
But this rotation scares me like Chris Hanson just came in & suggested I have a seat
Oh well, you can’t blame Cashman for not getting Cliff Lee
Now that Joba is fat he better pitch like CC
Finalist #3: Corky
My kingdom for a bad haircut, thy name is Derek Jeter
Getting older and older, can’t catch up to a heater
My head looks like Tiger Woods when he tees off
My OBP plummets, but I’ll still hit leadoff
Finalist #4: Razor Shines
What a rough off-season, it’s such a pity
Cliff Lee didn’t want to go to New York City
You knuckledraggers just learned a lesson in life
It’s not nice to spit on another man’s wife
Finalist #5: Trevor McYankeefan
The look of this rotation is making me shiver
Rotten to the core, like Mantle’s liver
Even though Derek Jeter is my hero and idol
The Yanks could crash and burn, like Munson and Lidle
VOTE!!
Honorable Mentions:
Jeet Skeet – Set to Notorious BIG’s “Juicy”
It was all a dream,
I used to bang every chick on a magazine,
Po & Mo, and Andy P up in the limousine,
Countin’ rings every fall,
Every Saturday,Jess,Vaness, n’ Mink, I can’t name them all
I let me fade rock as my skills flopped,
Drinkin’ my G2 with Malibu, reminiscin’ on the bloody sock
Way back, before they had that f*g Youk the Lumberjack,
take a crap whenever he was up to bat,
Remember that fu*kin’ douche…Millar, Millar
never thought a replacement player would make it this far,
Now I’m in the limelight, because of my decline right?
But I got paid, blow up like the Cliff Lee trade
My hair is thinner, the opposite of thicker
remember when I used to get to ground balls much quicker?
Peace to my OBP…GIDP and no SB,
Is what you can expect from me
I’m gettin’ old like you thought I would
Call it quits, just like you said I should
cause i’m not…good
And if you don’t know you know…. half n**ga
The Rock Guy from the Neverending Story – (Absolutely hilarious)
My hands, don’t they look so big and strong?
But when “The Nothing” came through, everything went wrong!
My friends got blown away, what a horrible night
Now this kid and his horse need to make things right!
47 Comments
eric February 21, 2011 16:53
The Munson and Lidle comment is horribly distasteful. Seriously, not funny at all.
Rich Mahogany February 21, 2011 16:56
Too soon?
eric February 21, 2011 20:36
Just didn’t think it was too funny to make fun of men in their 30′s who died in plane crashes, leaving behind a family. Very sad that that one was chosen.
Joe LA February 21, 2011 21:22
I don’t think I could possibly agree more. Both events represented very dark days. Even today, looking back on the Lidle crash is painful. Hysteria on the news that a plane had crashed into a building in New York, immediately bringing up thoughts of another 9/11. Then hearing that it was a Yankee, and one with a wife and young children… dark day.
Bare minimum, not funny at all.
Swishalicious February 22, 2011 13:05
I’m all for irreverent humor but agree, I won’t vote for #4 out of principle.
Swishalicious February 22, 2011 13:06
Fuck that shit, I meant #5.
john February 21, 2011 17:21
#5 and #4 were the best. had to go with #5
[Censored] February 21, 2011 18:24
weak field
Chri February 21, 2011 18:27
People complain every year. It’s fun. Get over it.
David Spade February 21, 2011 18:48
Who gives a flying fuck about a bullshit rap contest?! Buy Grown Ups on Blu-Ray.
BadAssBillyCurtis February 22, 2011 16:00
I bought Grown Ups so I could masturbate to you and Rob Schneider
Jeet Skeet February 21, 2011 19:22
Any 4 lines from my rap smokes these fools…. thanks for gettin it right nomaas!
Swishalicious February 22, 2011 13:08
^ This.
Adriano February 21, 2011 19:55
first 3 were very disappointing, I thought 5 was hilarious so I voted for that but only after did I see the DJ Juicy. now that is some ill shit. It should win, no doubt.
MC squared February 21, 2011 20:32
Your mother was very disappointing
BadAssBillyCurtis February 21, 2011 20:07
I thought mine was pretty clever.
Kim Last February 22, 2011 14:38
You got lumps.
BadAssBillyCurtis February 22, 2011 16:05
Yes, from your big balck dildo…it was part of the rap, Kim
Kim Last February 23, 2011 15:06
Billy’s herpes has lumps.
Biggie Smalls February 21, 2011 21:09
Respect to jeet skeet. Great remix to my juicy. Where’s the write in option? That shit takes the cake hands down. Crown the new champ.
Dicks in My Ass February 21, 2011 22:07
Jeet Skeet wins. crown the true champ.
K Youk February 21, 2011 22:10
I voted for number 5. Lol.
Pingback: Tweets that mention VOTE: Rap Contest Finalists | NoMaas.org -- Topsy.com
Sensitive RAB guy February 21, 2011 22:47
Jeet Skeet = way blacker than TSJC.
best line: “scares me like Chris Hanson just came in & suggested I have a seat”
[Censored] February 22, 2011 09:34
Why wasn’t TSJC invited to participate? I’m sure he could have rhymed something with panther and honkey.
Average RAB guy February 22, 2011 12:30
He was too busy perusing the articles and commenting on the greatest Yankee site ever
Swishalicious February 22, 2011 13:09
And tending to his newborn niglet, amirite?!?
Sensitive RAB guy February 22, 2011 18:32
This comment would crash RAB’s servers for about 2 or 3 days
TSJC February 22, 2011 14:27
Racist, cracka’s. Daddy doesn’t like.
"White" Jack McDowell February 22, 2011 01:27
“Remember that fu*kin’ douche…Millar, Millar
never thought a replacement player would make it this far,”
Best two lines on this page.
Yonkees February 22, 2011 04:07
“eric says:
February 21, 2011 at 8:36 pm
Just didn’t think it was too funny to make fun of men in their 30′s who died in plane crashes, leaving behind a family. Very sad that that one was chosen.”
Agreed. #5 is bullshit and in poor taste. It has no place on a site that acts as if it is a Yanks fan site. I’m sick of the negativity on this damn blog. I think you’re coming off the bookmarks
Chris M. February 22, 2011 08:39
Chill out.
Swishalicious February 22, 2011 13:09
What the fuck is this shit (Charles)?!?
Brian February 24, 2011 22:56
CHARLES NOOOOOO!!!
Joe Pawlikowski February 22, 2011 14:40
#5 is the best. F off if you don’t like it. Please donate.
Pete C. February 22, 2011 05:39
Wow, yeah the crack about Munson and Lidle was bad taste, but I guess nobody here ever heard that in comedy, anything goes. Gotta have thicker skin boys.
Mike Francesa February 22, 2011 10:44
The real winnah of the NoMaas rap contest? Me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvPlOWHEgt4
Kim Last February 22, 2011 13:59
Lumps.
Krazy Karl Hussong February 22, 2011 17:48
Hi, I’m Karl Hussong. I work at Home Depot. I watch you while you sleep. I’m 45 years old. I am married with 2 kids. My favorite band is AC/DC and I love the Yankees.
BadAssBillyCurtis February 23, 2011 12:48
Hi I’m BadAssBillyCurtis a/k/a Kenny fucking Powers a/k/a Smokin Josh Pipes a/k/a Lazy VinnyRozza a/k/a Old Man Franks a/a Krazy Karl Hussong etc. I am 16 years old. I often masturbate to pictures of Justin Bieber, using an empty Clearasil container to catch my jizz. My favorite band is the Fresh Beat Band. I kind of like the Yankees but not really. I just enjoy talking about lumos, rat spines, finals, relocates etc. and try to get a reaction from people because in the real world I am an enormous loser and no one will be my friend.
Kim Last February 23, 2011 15:07
They like lumps.
BadAssBillyCurtis February 23, 2011 16:42
in my rear from your bigf black dildo
Millar Millar February 22, 2011 21:48
Jeet skeet rap is by far the best. Get him the belt. Fuck the rules, that rhyme is too good for them anyways.
And if you don’t know now you know the winner is jeet skeet.
Jeet Skeet February 23, 2011 10:13
Biggie is smiling down on me
Pope February 23, 2011 12:51
word
Cory Lidle February 24, 2011 14:40
Relax guys, Im cold chillin in heaven right now. Its not so bad up here. I got an extra ten miles on my heater, the food is plentiful and my crib is sweet. No flyin unfortunately, cause Im as high as I can go, nah mean?
Its all in good fun. I know yall aint mean no disrespect,
Laura Posada February 28, 2011 20:17
a few years ago this site mattered. it had a thriving forum and timely, clever home page analysis. now, it’s just really bad.