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If we had $200 million to burn, the Yankees would never lose a game.

Introducing the Levine Loss

April 26, 2011 | 60 comments | in Featured | by Louis Winthorpe III



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60 Comments

bartonbickle April 26, 2011 23:19Reply

I love it. Make it a front page fixture like the Jeter meter.

I think I’d sooner suck Jason Varitek’s cock than shake Soriano’s hand.

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Nate Dogg April 26, 2011 23:53Reply

Prove it.

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O.J. April 27, 2011 00:10Reply

I’m not gay or nothin, but that’s hot.

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Jay Destro's Weenie April 27, 2011 15:27Reply

You make me hard in my underwear

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Shoe April 27, 2011 12:21Reply

probably because you’re gay.

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fuck you April 27, 2011 22:03Reply

you’re an angry bastard arent ya?

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K im Last Designs April 28, 2011 10:49Reply

Angry lumps

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Brian April 26, 2011 23:20Reply

And I’ve had the thrill of being in the stands for both of these. I want to lock Rafael Soriano in a room with 100 starving wolves…and throw away the key. He has, for me, already reached Kyle Farnsworth status.

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Ana April 26, 2011 23:34Reply

So it’s clearly YOUR fault Brian, not Soriano’s. Stop going to games.

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Brian April 26, 2011 23:43Reply

I had considered that. But I was also at the excellent walk-off win vs the Orioles two weeks ago…so I think I’m in the clear on this.

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[Censored] April 27, 2011 09:56Reply

Please update us as to which games you go to throughout the year.

thrilling

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Brian April 27, 2011 14:00Reply

Who is this other Brian? I was the only one here before.

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Jay Destro's Weenie April 27, 2011 15:28Reply

Because Brian is a unique name you douchebag

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Russ April 26, 2011 23:51Reply

These comparisons to Farnsworth are unfair, at least Farnsworth looked like giving up the go ahead run mattered, Soriano just looks like its just another day at the ballpark.

And I second the suggestion that this should be on the front page alongside the Jeter’s Ground O Meter.

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Phieleblunt April 27, 2011 01:17Reply

And Farnsworth would whoop a Red Sox player ass or two

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bartonbickle April 26, 2011 23:53Reply

He’s more like Steve Karsay in my eyes.

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Tom Gordon April 27, 2011 00:00Reply

LOL!

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JET April 27, 2011 00:04Reply

I agree with Russ…I hated Farnsworthless as much as the next guy, but this fuckwad Soriano serves up a meatball and he just walks off mound. I did see him wink up at the luxury boxes to his boy Randy. fuck Randy Levine.

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O.J. April 27, 2011 00:12Reply

He was winking at his agent.

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Ken kanif April 27, 2011 01:44Reply

I think every time Sorryano blows a save Cashman should be allowed to kick Randy Levine in th nuts!

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noseeum April 27, 2011 02:27Reply

Yet another post where Bartonbickle would rather suck Varitek’s cock than do something. “I’d rather suck Varitek’s cock than win season tickets behind home plate; I’d rather suck Varitek’s cock than ride on the Yankees Float in the next ticker tape parade.”

We get it Bartonbickle. And no, we’re not sure if Varitek reads nomaas but I’m sure the staff will do their best to get word to him.

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Joe April 27, 2011 02:51Reply

I can’t wait until he has more strikeouts than walks! That means he’s good right?

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bartonbickle April 27, 2011 03:50Reply

I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’d like to see Jason Varitek dipped into a vat of acid as all of his friends and family watch in horror (delight).

That should give you an idea of just how badly I detest Soriano.

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The Truth April 27, 2011 16:15Reply

I dont care how much I hate someone, I am not sucking a dick.

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Nick Social April 27, 2011 21:48Reply

Word.

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Leather Bound Books April 27, 2011 04:25Reply

And when all is said and done we will in the end lose the GM who revitalized our farm system and took us away from stupid signings of over the hump players.

Why?

Because a bunch of D-Bags who know much less about baseball than CashMoney feel they NEED get involved in a penis length competition just to show how important they are…

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The Truth April 27, 2011 08:06Reply

Uh I hate Levine as much as the next buy, but I don’t see anyone putting up the Kei Igawa Triple AAA strike out meter on this board. Or the Carl Pavano MRI tube stats or the Jaret Wright Game 4 against Detroit highlights. Cash has done a lot of good, but stop with he’s batting .1000 comments.

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truthy April 27, 2011 08:27Reply

even gardner is batting >0.1000 give him more credit than that

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[Censored] April 27, 2011 09:57Reply

Igawa was on Steinbrenner

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Taste my ass Cashman Apologists April 27, 2011 12:59Reply

No

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K im Last Designs April 27, 2011 15:28Reply

Lumpy Levine

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Brandon April 27, 2011 05:56Reply

We need to take a pillowcase and fill it full with bars of soap and beat the shit out of Levine and then throw him in the Hudson

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Pete C. April 27, 2011 06:27Reply

As much as I’d like to choke the little son of Abraham, Randy Levine and his protege aren’t solely responsible for last night, the part that screams out at me is 4 hits, the vaunted Yankee offense musters a staggering 4 hits.
Not to mention that kid in right. Somebody should kneecap that skinny fucker.

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Fuck Face April 27, 2011 06:43Reply

Don’t you dare blame the loss on the offense. We gave a win to the most expensive set-up man ever. FUCK HIS STUPID FACE.

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Pete C. April 27, 2011 08:08Reply

4 hits.
Take a deep breath, they’re in a slump, they”ll break out.
This guy Soriano looks like Ed Whitson out there. I know because I actually saw Ed Whitson. I didn’t see Soriano last night but on the other nights I have, his body language is possibly the worst ever. He drags himself all over the mound like he’s on the Battaan death march, and then when he does throw he proceeds to dig himself a deeper hole.
If there’s a bright side to this, it may show the Yankees that Cashman’s not the retard they thought, and the next time RANDY wishes to speak, he’ll be told to stay quiet because grown-ups are talking.

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Pete C. April 27, 2011 08:11Reply

Oh yeah, that kid in right had something to do with it too.

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Fuck Face April 27, 2011 14:10Reply

That kid in right isn’t even an issue if the tantrum on the mound performs in accordance with his paycheck.

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Pete C. April 27, 2011 15:55Reply

Yes Soriano isn’t just not earning his keep. He fucking sucks, and he makes more money than any reliever not named Mo should get, on top of his suckitude.
That being said, Nova pitched a hell of a game. a good sign all by itself, and if it wasn’t for 2 highlight catches, in a row by the way, they would have won. Take a breath they got bigger problems than mr. 8th inning. They have better options in the pen for that roll than they have on the bench for lead off.

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Jimmy the Greek April 27, 2011 08:07Reply

If Soriano where of Anglo descent, he would probably display more mental toughness and an ability to find ways to get outs. He’s Mexican, right?

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Pete C. April 27, 2011 08:09Reply

doesn’t have the necessities

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Burt Reynolds April 27, 2011 11:15Reply

Agreed Jimmy — he’s descended from slaves so that makes him a far superior athlete to anglos, but mentally the man is soft as Brett Pedroia’s schwanz is when a naked woman is in front of him.

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Lou Brown April 27, 2011 09:26Reply

Because this thread is about Players we shouldn’t have signed… I’m sure glad we did sign this guy:

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/stats/playercompare?sort=25&cat=Batting&pids8289=1&pids6870=1

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Drive-By Insults April 27, 2011 14:23Reply

Nice broken link, cock toucher.

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Robert DeNiro's character from that shitty Slyvester Stallone movie April 27, 2011 21:54Reply

You blew it!

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Taste my ass Cashman Apologists April 27, 2011 13:03Reply

Is there enough room for a Colon, Garcia, (and eventually Silva, Millwood) loss column? Soriano is a drop in the bucket compared to the damage Cashman’s crap rotation will do to this team. I mean, big deal, we remove Soriano and we probably get two Joba losses instead.

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Taste my Taint Levine Apologist April 27, 2011 13:38Reply

Colon/Garcia 2-1
Soriano 1-2

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The Truth April 27, 2011 15:27Reply

Couldn’t have said it better. Although Girardi deserves some blame for bringing him in two nights in a row.

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Taste my Taint Levine Apologist April 28, 2011 15:30Reply

Colon/Garcia 3-1
Soriano 1-2

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Paul April 27, 2011 13:06Reply

I want to see Soriano do well, and normally I’d be all over NoMaas for rooting for certain Yankees to fail just so their boy Cashman can look good. But this is pretty funny. Fuck Levine and all the douchebag things he’s done. I can’t wait till the day when they usher his ass out of Yankee Stadium.

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Roy Keane's Dog April 27, 2011 13:19Reply

This is beautiful, coming right on the heels of the book revelations that Jeter’s “impassioned pleas” “impressed” Levine and led to him getting more money.

Incidentally, Cano’s line drive to end the game:
Was it:
a) a hot shot?
b) a hot smash?
c) a lined smash?
d) a lined shot?

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K im Last Designs April 29, 2011 15:52Reply

a lump shot

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average yankee fan April 27, 2011 13:40Reply

don’t blame jeter!! he is having a great year!!!

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27 Rings April 27, 2011 14:01Reply

I think Soriano will come around. I think Jeter will not. Why is our worst hitter leading off???

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Brett M Gardner April 27, 2011 15:49Reply

I’m hitting 9th douchebag

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Steve Balboni's Bastard April 27, 2011 15:30Reply

Cashman is smiling right? I know he doesnt want to lose but this can’t help but make him look good.

Now the real question is how long Clueless Joe sticks with him as the “8th Inning Guy”. How many more runs does this stiff need to let up?

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[Censored] April 27, 2011 16:04Reply

You have to decide before the game when your relievers will come in.

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The Truth April 27, 2011 16:41Reply

So you can tell before the game is played if your atarter is going to shit the bed? If you are leading by 11 runs or if you may go to extra innings?

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[Censored] April 27, 2011 18:18Reply

What do you think? You can just bring anyone in without warning them? They need a full day to prepare for their role in the next game.

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Steve Balboni's Bastard April 28, 2011 10:51Reply

In binder Girardi’s world all relievers need to know 24 hrs before. So if there is a blowout it goes to blowout relievers. ie Carlyle, Pendleton, Logan etc

close games are strictly Robertson 6-7, Joba 7, Darkness 8 Mo 9

Way to manage that pen Joe

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truthy April 29, 2011 10:30Reply

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/writers/jon_heyman/01/26/winter.stars/

no one could say it better than heyman. the soriano oversigning makes hal steinbrenner the 4th top winner of the offseason

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