You are cordially invited to the Red Sox Clubhouse FRAT PARTY!!!!! Consider yourself lucky, bitches.
WHERE: Red Sox Clubhouse
WHEN: Usually during and after ballgames, but since this is the offseason, this Saturday
TIME: 9 am to 1 am Sunday morning, come and leave whenever
REFRESHMENTS will be served, by which I mean fried chicken and tons of booze. Bring more if you want, you can never have too much NATTY LITE!
NOT INVITED: terry francona because The Globe says its his fault that we didn’t make it to the playoffs, Yankees, chinks, spics, darkies (except Darnell but he has to use his waterfountain), Robert andino, non-degenerates, rays, non-alcoholics,
, and non-jackasses. All guests will receive a complementary laptop donated graciously by Clay Buchholz, children under 13 will get a free surprise from our very own Santa Claus (Brett Pedroia in costume).
For more information contact Josh Beckett or John Lester. Not Lackey, we didn’t invite him cause nobody likes him. And he eats all our fucking fried chicken, that fat hideous bastard.
I am under contract for this event. McQueery will be my elf. Free candy canes from the sac i keep on my lap. They have to eat them here though can’t take em home.
Someone explain what this fat fuck does from the winter meetings? So he wastes money on a room to sit and wait while REAL reporters get news and copies and pastes it to his blog and “analyzes” it. Awesome!
The CBA penalties are already cutting off the Yankees’ balls before it even takes effect.
The goal is to have the payroll at $180mill in 2014:
Using http://www.baseball-reference.com/teams/NYY/2011-roster.shtml as a reference,
$73.5million to ARod, CC, and Tex.
Jeter has an 8mill option he can exercise (and likely will) that can value up to 17million depending on certain conditions.
A-Rod also has bonus payouts for his milestone home runs and such as they come due.
So minimum is 81.5 due to 4 players.
Cano and Granderson are both Free Agents after the 2013 season. While at 33 years old, Granderson might be worth letting walk unless you want to tie up in him for another 5 years (and depending on how he keeps developing, maybe). Cano is almost a gimme that he’ll be resigned (and should be). Each of these guys is going to command 15-20 per year.
Lowballing it, 121.5 for 6 players.
Joba and Hughes are both free agents in 2014. Plus factor in other arbitration cases, maybe another 30mill there, depending if either Hughes or Joba ever get it together, and depending on how many callups they have.
151.5 for a team of arbitration players, a 40 year old shortstop working on 4000 hits 1 single at a time, a 34 year old 1B, 1 decent starting pitcher at 33 year old, 38 year old A-Rod likely be full time DH’ing, Granderson will be 33, Cano will be 31. The team hasn’t looked that spry since 2005.
With 28.5million left, Cashman has room to make a deal for 1 big name player, or a couple of smaller role type guys.
20 Comments
Mandingo December 4, 2011 15:31
GM matching game!
Chong Li = ?
Jackson = ?
Weird monkey fighting guy = ?
Paco = ?
Racist Japanese Guy December 4, 2011 17:38
Chong Li = Kim Ng
Jackson = Kevin Towers
Weird monkey = Kenny Williams
Paco = Jon Daniels
YOU'RE INVITED! December 4, 2011 16:00
You are cordially invited to the Red Sox Clubhouse FRAT PARTY!!!!! Consider yourself lucky, bitches.
WHERE: Red Sox Clubhouse
WHEN: Usually during and after ballgames, but since this is the offseason, this Saturday
TIME: 9 am to 1 am Sunday morning, come and leave whenever
REFRESHMENTS will be served, by which I mean fried chicken and tons of booze. Bring more if you want, you can never have too much NATTY LITE!
NOT INVITED: terry francona because The Globe says its his fault that we didn’t make it to the playoffs, Yankees, chinks, spics, darkies (except Darnell but he has to use his waterfountain), Robert andino, non-degenerates, rays, non-alcoholics,
YOU'RE INVITED! December 4, 2011 16:05
, and non-jackasses. All guests will receive a complementary laptop donated graciously by Clay Buchholz, children under 13 will get a free surprise from our very own Santa Claus (Brett Pedroia in costume).
For more information contact Josh Beckett or John Lester. Not Lackey, we didn’t invite him cause nobody likes him. And he eats all our fucking fried chicken, that fat hideous bastard.
Brett Pedroia December 4, 2011 19:53
I had the pants on my Santa outfit made special. And I’ve been practicing my Santa voice: “Ho ho ho little boy! Naughty!”
Jerry San dusky December 5, 2011 09:45
I am under contract for this event. McQueery will be my elf. Free candy canes from the sac i keep on my lap. They have to eat them here though can’t take em home.
TSJC December 7, 2011 10:06
Honky aint no shit bout no party
Ben K@bak December 4, 2011 18:35
Are members of the MTA invited?
Mike Ax isa, Ace Editor-in-Chief reporting from the Winter Meetings December 4, 2011 22:58
How about Editor-in-chiefs?
Matzo December 7, 2011 10:07
Someone explain what this fat fuck does from the winter meetings? So he wastes money on a room to sit and wait while REAL reporters get news and copies and pastes it to his blog and “analyzes” it. Awesome!
Tia Tanaka December 4, 2011 19:12
I was invited to fuck Cashman.
Bolshevik Bud December 4, 2011 21:30
I’ve been doing that for years, it’s fun!
Mike Ax isa, Ace Editor-in-Chief reporting from the Winter Meetings December 4, 2011 22:58
This is on my bucket list this week reporting from the Winter Meetings
CBA hater December 4, 2011 23:39
The CBA penalties are already cutting off the Yankees’ balls before it even takes effect.
The goal is to have the payroll at $180mill in 2014:
Using http://www.baseball-reference.com/teams/NYY/2011-roster.shtml as a reference,
$73.5million to ARod, CC, and Tex.
Jeter has an 8mill option he can exercise (and likely will) that can value up to 17million depending on certain conditions.
A-Rod also has bonus payouts for his milestone home runs and such as they come due.
So minimum is 81.5 due to 4 players.
Cano and Granderson are both Free Agents after the 2013 season. While at 33 years old, Granderson might be worth letting walk unless you want to tie up in him for another 5 years (and depending on how he keeps developing, maybe). Cano is almost a gimme that he’ll be resigned (and should be). Each of these guys is going to command 15-20 per year.
Lowballing it, 121.5 for 6 players.
Joba and Hughes are both free agents in 2014. Plus factor in other arbitration cases, maybe another 30mill there, depending if either Hughes or Joba ever get it together, and depending on how many callups they have.
151.5 for a team of arbitration players, a 40 year old shortstop working on 4000 hits 1 single at a time, a 34 year old 1B, 1 decent starting pitcher at 33 year old, 38 year old A-Rod likely be full time DH’ing, Granderson will be 33, Cano will be 31. The team hasn’t looked that spry since 2005.
With 28.5million left, Cashman has room to make a deal for 1 big name player, or a couple of smaller role type guys.
Taiwanese Man December 5, 2011 09:47
You are moron. Yankees wirr not have 180 mirrion payrorr in 2014. Shut the fuck up and go home.
Joe Páwlikowski December 7, 2011 10:08
This is a boy after my own heart. Now let me take you out to dinner.
John Sterling December 5, 2011 03:54
Suzyn, did I ever tell you I have the overwhelming desire to clean out that cobweb box of yours when Jeter turns two?
Weird Chinese Guy December 5, 2011 08:49
OK USA!
Taiwanese Man December 5, 2011 09:48
China oppressing us! Fuck you China!
CJ December 5, 2011 10:27
Genius photoshop.