I rove when I see 10 new comments to read on a post. Maybe something funny? Then disappointment when I rearize it is same retard writing same thing over and over.
The 2012 Boston Red Sox come out of the gate the instant favorites in the AL east and could be World Series bound for the 3rd time this century if everything goes according to my article. Here’s why I think the 2012 Sox could make some noise. Remember now, there’s 2 wild card spots for this season’s playoffs. If that would have been in play for 2011 we would have been in the playoffs but that’s neither here nor there.
Starting pitching: The Sox come in with what is easily the deepest rotation in baseball. With staff ace and perennial Cy Young candidate Josh Beckett and the other staff ace and perennial all star Jon Lester the Sox front end is going to easily win 45 games. 3rd starter Clay Buchholz will be back at full strength following a back injury from lifting laptops. (Take that however you want.) He should be good for 18+ and maybe make a run at the Cy Young. Though the 4th starter John Lackey is out with Tommy John surgery, too many buckets of chicken will hurt the arm, the Sox rotation still lies deep enough in the likes of Kyle Weiland, Aaron Cook, Andrew Miller, and ex-Met legend John Maine. Tim Wakefield is always an option to be brought back as well. Daisuke Matsuzaka is still rehabbing from TJ surgery and by the time he’s healthy enough to pitch it’ll be back in Japan. The Sox bullpen will once again be stacked starting with new closer and former AL rookie of the year Andrew Bailey. Acquired from the A’s, Bailey barely pitched last season due to both injury and being on the A’s so he should be nice and rested for the playoff run in 2012. The rest of the pen is made up of out of shape white and Hispanic righthanders who are all the same.
Now onto the offense. The Sox offense will remain potent in 2012 and on pace to crack 2,000 runs scored. At the top of the order will be MVP candidates Jacob Ellsbury and Dustin Pedroia. Then the big bats follow in David Ortiz, Adrian Gonzalez, and Kevin Youkilis. The bottom 4 might not be heavy but they can hit. Expect Darnell McDonald in LF to spell an injured Carl Crawford until June. (Not that he’ll be missed.) In RF newly acquired Cody “Babe” Ross will replace the ghost of J.D. Drew. Behind the plate my good friend Jarred Saltlamacchia returns as starter and Kelly Shoppach and Jeff Lavarnway will duke it out for back up back stop. The revolving door at SS continues for 2012. Ben Cherington has the tandem of Mike Aviles and WS hero Nick Punto penciled in until future hall of famer Jose Iglesias is ready to fill the ranks. The bench will be filled with a bunch of AAA call ups Peter Gammons dubs as “future hall of famers” and since he is one himself he must know what he’s talking about.
Finally the biggest X factor will be new Sox manager Bobby Valentine. Valentine has big holes and prescriptions to fill for the departed Terry Francona. Will Bobby V be able to “wrap” another title here in Boston? Will I continue to spew forth verbal diarrhea for the masses to consume? Hopefully both of these answers are a yes.
By the end of my second term, the Red Sox will have won their fifth title since 2000. This would be a new Northwest ordinance for baseball. I know, they’ve only won two–some call me a bold visionary. I’m a visionary! That’s why I’m giving this visionary speech. Now you take the current incumbent– he’d like to see the Stanley Cup won by Kenyan anti-colonialists, a total rejection of Western values. We will not turn to our grandchildren and say, ‘We are the generation that let the Chinese dominate baseball.”
The mega rich need to be taxed more, that actually is blatantly obvious to everyone in and outside the US who understands the economy and state budgets.
But sure, instead you can listen to anti-Europe propaganda and how that doesn’t work as a weird non-existent cross-reference as to why raising taxes on the super wealthy is bad.
Class warfare is what the Bush admin was undertaking against the 99% – but sure go to a rally and yell about less taxes and regulation, wall street fat cats love you idiots.
Stop speaking for me, LBB- I’m perfectly capable of sounding completely retarded about economics on my own. Now go back to being a jealous douche like I’ve taught you.
We’ll welcome the new recruits with plenty of fried chicken and booze. Parrrtay, bitches!!!
151
Brooks Robinson's clavicle January 30, 2012 00:28Reply
Does this mean the O’s won’t be in last place in the AL East this year? I can’t wait to see Johnny Unitas take on the Giants next weekend- could never stand that Frank Gifford…
It’s time for Cherington to prove that divorcing Wendi Nix was good business. Now if they would let him actually make some decisions. They shoulda let him sign someone on his own. Haha.
21
Fenway's Centerfield Triangle January 30, 2012 10:18Reply
66 Comments
Negrodamus January 29, 2012 21:18
To be fair, Ross will probably mash when playing against lefties and at Fenway in general with that wall.
TSJC January 30, 2012 14:27
Niggas be hatin’
Taiwanese Man January 30, 2012 16:21
I rove when I see 10 new comments to read on a post. Maybe something funny? Then disappointment when I rearize it is same retard writing same thing over and over.
Asian Guy January 31, 2012 00:55
You act rike NoMaas rikes you. You bring disrespect to entire continent you worthress boy.
TSJC January 31, 2012 10:52
Nips ain’t shit
Another Asian guy January 31, 2012 20:44
You sperred letard long.
City Wok Guy January 31, 2012 22:38
Sheety wor goddam mongorians!
Eric Ortiz of NESN January 29, 2012 22:03
The 2012 Boston Red Sox come out of the gate the instant favorites in the AL east and could be World Series bound for the 3rd time this century if everything goes according to my article. Here’s why I think the 2012 Sox could make some noise. Remember now, there’s 2 wild card spots for this season’s playoffs. If that would have been in play for 2011 we would have been in the playoffs but that’s neither here nor there.
Starting pitching: The Sox come in with what is easily the deepest rotation in baseball. With staff ace and perennial Cy Young candidate Josh Beckett and the other staff ace and perennial all star Jon Lester the Sox front end is going to easily win 45 games. 3rd starter Clay Buchholz will be back at full strength following a back injury from lifting laptops. (Take that however you want.) He should be good for 18+ and maybe make a run at the Cy Young. Though the 4th starter John Lackey is out with Tommy John surgery, too many buckets of chicken will hurt the arm, the Sox rotation still lies deep enough in the likes of Kyle Weiland, Aaron Cook, Andrew Miller, and ex-Met legend John Maine. Tim Wakefield is always an option to be brought back as well. Daisuke Matsuzaka is still rehabbing from TJ surgery and by the time he’s healthy enough to pitch it’ll be back in Japan. The Sox bullpen will once again be stacked starting with new closer and former AL rookie of the year Andrew Bailey. Acquired from the A’s, Bailey barely pitched last season due to both injury and being on the A’s so he should be nice and rested for the playoff run in 2012. The rest of the pen is made up of out of shape white and Hispanic righthanders who are all the same.
Now onto the offense. The Sox offense will remain potent in 2012 and on pace to crack 2,000 runs scored. At the top of the order will be MVP candidates Jacob Ellsbury and Dustin Pedroia. Then the big bats follow in David Ortiz, Adrian Gonzalez, and Kevin Youkilis. The bottom 4 might not be heavy but they can hit. Expect Darnell McDonald in LF to spell an injured Carl Crawford until June. (Not that he’ll be missed.) In RF newly acquired Cody “Babe” Ross will replace the ghost of J.D. Drew. Behind the plate my good friend Jarred Saltlamacchia returns as starter and Kelly Shoppach and Jeff Lavarnway will duke it out for back up back stop. The revolving door at SS continues for 2012. Ben Cherington has the tandem of Mike Aviles and WS hero Nick Punto penciled in until future hall of famer Jose Iglesias is ready to fill the ranks. The bench will be filled with a bunch of AAA call ups Peter Gammons dubs as “future hall of famers” and since he is one himself he must know what he’s talking about.
Finally the biggest X factor will be new Sox manager Bobby Valentine. Valentine has big holes and prescriptions to fill for the departed Terry Francona. Will Bobby V be able to “wrap” another title here in Boston? Will I continue to spew forth verbal diarrhea for the masses to consume? Hopefully both of these answers are a yes.
anonymous January 29, 2012 22:19
tl;dr
RoboCop January 29, 2012 23:08
Your loss. ‘Tis funny.
Chan Ho Park January 30, 2012 00:25
You spew out velbal dialea, I spew out real dialea.
Asian Guy January 31, 2012 00:56
Asian guy rikes this.
Pete C. January 30, 2012 05:27
Will you be able to spew like that for the rest of the season?
One can only hope.
Guns of Navarone January 30, 2012 13:46
Ex-Met legend John Maine. Hahaha that was awesome!
Ki m Last January 30, 2012 14:28
A lot of lumps
Newt Gingrich January 30, 2012 22:35
By the end of my second term, the Red Sox will have won their fifth title since 2000. This would be a new Northwest ordinance for baseball. I know, they’ve only won two–some call me a bold visionary. I’m a visionary! That’s why I’m giving this visionary speech. Now you take the current incumbent– he’d like to see the Stanley Cup won by Kenyan anti-colonialists, a total rejection of Western values. We will not turn to our grandchildren and say, ‘We are the generation that let the Chinese dominate baseball.”
Pete C. January 31, 2012 05:18
That say’s it all right there.
Obama January 31, 2012 10:53
Gte ready for bankruptcy and irrelevance in my soon to be second term. I’ll try to make sure over 50% don’t pay taxes. That’s my base!
Negrodamus January 31, 2012 12:37
Great. Here come the Teatard trolls to hijack this again. Idiot.
TSJC February 1, 2012 15:07
Nigga ain’t be playin’
Leather Bound Books February 3, 2012 08:03
Tea Party troll is pathetic.
Obama February 3, 2012 14:57
Pray for more taxes. Class warfare always works.
Leather Bound Books February 3, 2012 16:58
The mega rich need to be taxed more, that actually is blatantly obvious to everyone in and outside the US who understands the economy and state budgets.
But sure, instead you can listen to anti-Europe propaganda and how that doesn’t work as a weird non-existent cross-reference as to why raising taxes on the super wealthy is bad.
Class warfare is what the Bush admin was undertaking against the 99% – but sure go to a rally and yell about less taxes and regulation, wall street fat cats love you idiots.
The 99% February 7, 2012 10:36
Stop speaking for me, LBB- I’m perfectly capable of sounding completely retarded about economics on my own. Now go back to being a jealous douche like I’ve taught you.
Red Sox Fan January 29, 2012 22:07
Pineda and Kuroda ? pfftt, average pitchers from a sub-par division.
RimJob Mike January 29, 2012 22:14
According to the fuckwad Ortiz you don’t have a 4th and 5th starter and you’d kill to have Pineda and Kuroda.
Asian Guy January 29, 2012 22:18
The Yankees signed Kuroda to bring back the good feerings of Asian revenue. Rong rive Matsui.
Japanese lady in the stands with the cartoon Matsui sign January 29, 2012 22:24
Me no been to Yankee game since 2009
Thai Lady with Pancake Makeup January 30, 2012 17:15
That long time.
Rick Santorum January 30, 2012 22:36
In bed.
Ralph Nader for prez January 31, 2012 20:22
Santorum: the frothy mix of anal lube and shit that is the byproduct of anal sex! Google it
viet hooker January 31, 2012 05:20
Me love you long time.
Give numbah 10 blowjob.
BadAssBillyCurtis January 31, 2012 10:54
Rat spines!
RoboCop January 29, 2012 23:10
Aaron Cook, Carlos Silva and Vicente Padilla? A veritable smorgasbord of aces.
Red Sox Organization January 30, 2012 00:22
A chink and a darkie. Why would we accept that type of vermin into our culture??
Pete C. January 30, 2012 05:29
it’s daahkie not darkie.
Sully January 30, 2012 17:17
No one says daakie in Boston ya nitwit. You know the wid.
Pete C. January 31, 2012 05:26
When I lived there briefly in the late 60′s they just said “niggah,” I thought dahkie was the new and improved version.
Sully January 31, 2012 22:41
You got it! The secret wid is niggah.
Denton from SurvivingGrady.com January 29, 2012 22:11
This is how our fan base stays classy.
Joe Páwlikowski February 1, 2012 15:07
Naked?
Guy from RAB who thinks Posada's number should be retired January 29, 2012 22:22
We should bring back Damon to DH.
He is a True Yankee™ and clutch.
Beefy Italian Cub January 30, 2012 10:14
RAB sucks
BenKabawk Jr, MTA's BIGGEST FAN January 30, 2012 10:22
You’re, so mean, I’m telling, on you! Daddyyyyyy!!!
Pete C. January 30, 2012 12:04
If the shoe fits jewboy, lace it up.
Ben Ka bak's Dad January 30, 2012 14:29
Time to sue. Clear the decks.
THe Law Firm of Klein and Shoefitz January 30, 2012 22:37
We will be contacting you shortly.
Pete C. January 31, 2012 05:27
THe Law Firm of Klein and Shoefitz.
Genius.
Sammy Wearit, Esq. January 31, 2012 06:16
Make me a partner, I’m a natural fit.
Buttered Bread January 29, 2012 22:34
One day, we’ll be able to tell our grandchildren that you stopped being Boston Dirt Dogs.
Josh Beckett January 30, 2012 00:23
We’ll welcome the new recruits with plenty of fried chicken and booze. Parrrtay, bitches!!!
Brooks Robinson's clavicle January 30, 2012 00:28
Does this mean the O’s won’t be in last place in the AL East this year? I can’t wait to see Johnny Unitas take on the Giants next weekend- could never stand that Frank Gifford…
Typical Boston Idiot January 30, 2012 00:36
One day, I’ll be able to tell my grandchildren that I sawhh the greatest closahh of ALL TIME pitch ….
Daniel Bahhhd!
BIG BERTHA January 30, 2012 01:10
Those two playahhs joinin the Red Sawhhx made them so much HAWTER, I wanna fawk all thahh Sawhhx playahhs, especially Jacawwby that studmawffin
SAWX FANGIRL AND PROUD!!!!! FAWK NYY AND JETAHH AND HIS PERFECT ASSSS!
K im Last January 30, 2012 14:37
Derek Jeter’s perfect ass lumps
Pesky Pole January 30, 2012 02:59
It’s time for Cherington to prove that divorcing Wendi Nix was good business. Now if they would let him actually make some decisions. They shoulda let him sign someone on his own. Haha.
Fenway's Centerfield Triangle January 30, 2012 10:18
Coco Crisp.
Green Monster January 31, 2012 22:50
Captain Crunch.
Joe Páwlikowski January 30, 2012 14:30
I get excited in my short pants when I hear a Boston accent. Makes me tingle. It’s the small things that make Joe Pawl a happy guy.
Suzyn Waldman January 30, 2012 14:53
EVEN MINE????
… GOODNESS GRACIOUS! RODGAH CLEMENS IS IN GAWGE STEINBRENNER’S BOX!!! GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!!!!!!!!
Joe Páwlikowski January 31, 2012 10:55
You don’t have a penis. Or do you?
Pesky Pole Smokers January 30, 2012 22:24
What do you call a gay Bostonian? Monsignor or Father.
Hey Sully, you remember when Father Flannery made you bleed?
Noot Gingrich January 31, 2012 17:53
Can we drop a little of the pious baloney?
Father Flanagan January 31, 2012 22:44
Here, have a taste of my pious baloney!
Pope Pius Bologna XVII January 31, 2012 22:46
Hey!
Joe Páwlikowski February 1, 2012 15:02
I was the inspiration for kids with balls on chin.