Big ol’ Randy Levine
Looks like a Jewish drag queen
He signed Soriano for the 8th to clean
But all he did was kick and scream.
Get this guy on the train to be gone
Before his next signing is Mark Carreon.

4  15

Jeeeeeeeewwwwww

4  16

ARod wants to show he’s still cash
Listened to Kobe
Paid a visit to a magic german
I hope this year he can mash
To him baseball isn’t a hobby
Cross our fingers, he’ll be the man

2  18

Budget cutting, we spending less percentage wise than the Tigers
Hal squeezing Cash’s nuts like he had some pliers
still charging ten bucks for some cheap lemonade
these dumb fans will still show up, we getting paid

8  9

Had the next Manny and Miggy rolled up into one
was worried he couldnt catch and traded him for a borderline bum
no youngsters in our lineup, everyone is a shell
dont worry russel martin frames pitches real well

9  11

Trimmin down the payroll, the ninja pulled his best trick.
Now hittin someone’s face with pies no longer is electric.
I didn’t see enough from Montero’s cup of coffee.
If Pineda doesn’t dominate we’ll do him like Gaddafi.

11  9

None better, turning bare hand double plays in late May double headers. Name is just a couple letters. C-a-n-o, games so hot he doesnt just turn 2′s he turns the damn weather. Unlike the red sox he always clutch in september

10  4

You’re no House of Pain.

0  8

CA$H:
All you suckas got nothin on me,
Cause I’m muthafuckin Ca$hmoney
Traded Jesus and Hector Noesi
Now give it all up for Joey G!

[Hit it!]

JOE G: All my logic comes straight from the binder
Tell em to bunt if they need a reminder
RANDY LEVINE: I’m the reason we signed Soriano
DL: I’m currently home to Feliciano
WALLY MATTHEWS: I’m nothing but an ESPN minion
LUPICA: The Yankee payroll is 200 million
CERVELLI: I fistpump every time I get a hit
CC: I eat Cap’n Crunch to make me fit
CANO: I got with all the wimmin in Taiwan!
JETER: My interviews make y’all yawn
BMG: Runnin fast but hitting like a girl
IBANEZ: Got a face that makes you wanna hurl
GRANDY: I’ll make another run for MVP
AJ: No yanks fan is gonna miss me!
PINEDA: Throwin fastballs with some sliders in the mix
NUNEZ: Oops, I just made another E6
AROD: No denying I can still hit for power
MO: I take it, throw it then take a shower
SWISH: This is the best shape I’ve been in years!
BECKETT: Just shaddup and pass me some beers

53  9

I call the shots so you fools listen. Just look at me as my world series rings glisten. My names Cashmoney & I’m here to say. That a 200mill + payroll is here to stay. Look at all these STARS we still have to pay. We have A-Rod for millions till he’s old & grey! CC’s here no matter what the scales say. Rivera may leave but we will survive. My main main D-Rob gonna keep us alive. So much young talent we shall continute to thrive, Forget what Hal says, he’s a fool. Cashmoney the ninja bout to take you to school. Cano is a star…pay him we will. Jeter at short just to fatten the bill. Soriano gets paid even though he’s a bum. Our stadium so fly all the people still come. So what if we charge such a ludacris sum. When we win 28 everything will be grand. Ya boy Cashmoney has the strongest pimp hand. Making sure our team is the greatest in the land! So as the rest of the league continues to soften. We will keep winning…and as always….FUCK BOSTON!

4  7

I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I know what boys like
I’ve got what boys like

I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I seen them looking

I make them want me
I like to tease them
they want to touch me
I never let them

I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I know what boys like
Boys like, boys like me

29  12

Now this is my rhyme and you punks need to listen
Brett Pedroia will fist pump your ass like Arods chapstick glisten
Yanks are pride of the East while Boston eats beer and chicken
Cash money production built this shit sly like those bitch hoes he stickin
Look up Boston bitches its the Yankees you best start a climbing
But you can’t cuz you choke worse than a Randy Levine signin
Pride of New York Mo closes this shit without tease
Listen all you chicken heads I’m gonna win this shit with ease
Lumps don’t need to be hears in this song
But this is a Nomaas wrap so “I got lumps on my dong”
So while I read all the other raps and try not to snooze
Read this one and realize your are about to loose!

1  10

Blame it on Francona
Put us in a coma
Blame it on fried chicken
And Brett’s boy lickin
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol
Blame it on the a a a a a a alcohol

18  7

I would say I’m sorry
If I thought that it would change your mind
But I know that this time
I’ve said too much
Been too unkind

I try to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I try and
Laugh about it
Hiding the tears in my eyes
’cause boys don’t cry
Boys don’t cry

I would break down at your feet
And beg forgiveness
Plead with you
But I know that
It’s too late
And now there’s nothing I can do

So I try to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I try to
laugh about it
Hiding the tears in my eyes
’cause boys don’t cry

I would tell you
That I loved you
If I thought that you would stay
But I know that it’s no use
That you’ve already
Gone away

Misjudged your limits
Pushed you too far
Took you for granted
I thought that you needed me more

Now I would do most anything
To get you back by my side
But I just
Keep on laughing
Hiding the tears in my eyes
’cause boys don’t cry
Boys don’t cry
Boys don’t cry

0  15

Now here is something that I hold dear
when professional athletes enter their contract year
players show up to camp where the weather is mild
and suddenly their aches and pains are gone faster than Cashman’s unborn child
It’s truly remarkable what money can do
and after this year levine will reward them with a guaranteed 2.
so we will enjoy the season as you miraculously play betta
cause shit gets real in the field when it comes time for dat cheddah

1  6

Spring training’s underway, baseball’s in the air,
Time for all the players to trim that facial hair
CC & Pineda are looking less husky
Ball boy tryouts, where’s Jerry Sandusky?
Arod is trying too hard to make friends,
No beer in the clubhouse – poor Bob Lorenz.
Bandwagon’s full, and haters gonna hate,
It’s baseball time bitches, let’s win #28!

5  6

Unlike my chronic stinky armpits
Panties are dried up from here to St Kitts
What’s that, you wanna know why?
Cuz I’m marrying a girl who chokes me until I almost die

0  7

With a hat tip to J-Lo’s fat ass:

Don’t be fooled by the blogs that I have
I’m still, I’m still Ben from River Ave.
When I get a rash then I apply a salve
And every time I go, I know that I’ll get mugged (in the Bronx!)

2  7

With a hat tip to Jigga:

If you got a thin system
I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 prospects, and a Bichette’s one

I got this Grand Street School six-foot-eight-inch dude
Betances throwin’ through steel–Kevlar, too

Heathcott’s heat cocked, scouts see him and go
Slobber like Joba when the firewater flows

No disrespect to Flanny, but it’s Manny’s time to shine
Sorry Nuney, Banuelos changeup fuckin’ twistin’ your mind

On the farm, catcher stash: One ‘stache is brown
Dirty Sanchez and Romine fuckin’ holding it down

Lil’ poke for your pussy from our big-ass sticks
Slick swings from Mason, Murphy, and the king of all picks:

Son of a Blake Street Bomber,
I’m real glad for you, son
I got 99 prospects, and a Bichette’s one

Fenway, I know this rhyme is gonna annoy ya
Cuz NoMaas pluggin’ these boys like we was Pedroia

Fried bird in his hand, and none in the bush
Josh Beckett lost his rings while he was fingering tush

With Lackey in backy, thumb in his ass
Call of Duty on screen, dying wife on blast

Anus mouth, heading south, yo brotherly love
Human Centipede, Pap’ll be the center one of

Who you got, Boston? Think Iglesias is sick?
He’s Jose with the glove but Enrique with the stick

Meet the home run king of 2021
I got 99 prospects, and a Bichette’s one

Our centaur loves gash, whether human or horse
That’s why A-Rod sticks it to Mrs. Cliff Lee, of course

If you got two in the pink, and one in the stink
Do it like DJ with nine inches inna Mink

As sure as Jorge pees freely, and farts got lumps
The Minkman takes over when Francesa takes dumps.

This just in: Suzyn Waldman spotted on Park Ave
Holding her purse, her panties, and a Jeter autograph

Yo, we got a deep system
Pimpin’ Dante’s son
Cuz we got 99 prospects, and a Bichette’s one

9  7

It’s 2012 and the Empire is going to Hell
They shipped off Jesus and God may done as well
So Satan should be chillin’ with the Ghosts any day
How else did they get the Pirates to take AJ?

0  4

Come on, come on!
Turn a little faster
Come on, come on!
I’ll suck and you suck after
Come on, come on,
Because everybody’s after boyyyyys

But we accidentally got caught

5  5

Ya’ll yell “steroids” when Alex comes up;
When it’s Ortiz who needs a junior sized cup.

We gave you Aceves, Cashman what the fuck;
So when Theo got one right, it was all about luck.

Ya’ll should take a look at Crawford in right;
It’s good that he’s fast, too bad he’s not white.

You ain’t won a playoff game since god knows when;
The Patriots lost to the Giants again.

Beckett hangs out in the clubhouse drinkin beer;
That fat boy’s a Texan, but he’s sure not a steer.

So what does that mean, are you saying he’s gay?
Who cares, he’s the new human rain delay.

You’ve sucked since your mouthpiece left ESPN;
Now he’s ripping Francona to please Cherington.

The Yankees, and Tampa, now Toronto’s in the race;
This could be your year to finish in 4th place.

16  5

I’m the Centaur, that’s right, you know me.
My knee got messed up, so I flew to Germany
I’ve always been in touch with my feminine side
Which is why I like girls with meatier thighs.

5  5

By 2014 Hal wants a payroll of One-Eight-Nine
Jetes will hand ya a signed baseball if you’re really fine
We gave Electric Stuff away to Pittsburgh for nothin
And Arod likes chicks with muscles for humpin

4  3

My names Rick James bitch you best all beware
This rhyme I be spittin you all need to hear

I have this rap about a team that knows about tankin
About as much as Carl Crawford does hurting his wrist spankin

Youk the ogre cant stay fit he hurts himself runnin
About as bad as AJ takes it in the eye squarin up a buntin

Lackey the muppet disappeared cuz he needed tommy john
Like Brett Pedroia gets a kid excited and asks him to jump on

Beckett in his even years can’t pitch too good
But beer and chicken aided the odd are in the neighborhood

Ortiz minus HGH the fat fuck he be slidin
Like his buddy Varitek, his stats they will be hidin

Cash money productions called me up and asked me to come by
Like that big fat load he just squirt in that hookers eye

So I end this rap with a note cuz there ain’t much more to say

Yanks in first, Boston third, and Bobby V is gay!

Rick James Bitch…..cash money productions……OUT!

2  5

What’s CC my pitcha?
What’s Robbie my hitta?
What’s Brett, my fielda?
What that closer, Rivera?

Vegas says they’re the illest
Cuz they’re sufferin from realness
But they’re cuttin the payroll
Shit I really miss Jesus

2  3

11am waking up in the morning,
Go to the Stadium, take BP
Gotta have my bowls, gotta have Cap’n Crunch
Hittin on and on, everybody’s crushing
Gotta get out to home plate
I see Gardner, he steals a base

Teeing off a fastball,
Waitin for a curveball
Gotta make my mind up,
Which pitch should I take?

It’s pie day, pie day gotta get down on pie day
Everybody’s hoping that we get a walkoff
DPing DPing, NO!
Homering homering YEAH!
Yum yum yum yum
Looking forward tonthe postvgame

3  4

11am waking up in the morning,
Go to the Stadium, take BP
Gotta have my bowls, gotta have Cap’n Crunch
Spring training photoshoots in the bathroom
We’re hittin on and on, everybody’s crushing
Gotta get out to home plate
I see Gardner, he steals a base

Teeing off a fastball,
Waitin for a curveball
Gotta make my mind up,
Which pitch should I take?

It’s pie day, pie day gotta get down on pie day
Everybody’s hoping that we get a walkoff
DPing DPing, NO!
Homering homering YEAH!
Yum yum yum yum
Looking forward tonthe postvgame

9  5

My name’s Kim Jones and I have a horse head,
Asked for a raise but Hal said “I got no bread.”
Now Bob Lorenz gonna have to give Jack Curry dome,
While I touch myself to Heidi Watney at home.

5  3

Well it was just sundown in a small white town. They call it Eastside Palmdale.
When the Afroman walked through the white land, houses went up for sale.
Well, I was standin’ on the corner sellin’ rap cds when I met a little girl named Jan.
I let her ride in my Caddy cause I didn’t know her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan.
We fucked on the bed, fucked on the flo’, fucked so long, I grew a fuckin’ afro.
Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right. She sucked my dick ’til the shit turned white.
I thought to myself, Sheba, Sheba! Got my ass lookin’ like a ZEBRA!
I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way, until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet.
I ran. I jumped out the back window, but her daddy, he was waitin’ with a 2 x 4.
Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right. The mutha-fucker whooped my ass all night.
But I ain’t mad at her prejudiced dad, that’s the best damn pussy I ever had.
I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine. I’m a fuck that bitch just one more time.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that’s all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin’ high as hell flyin’ through Palmdale, skatin’ on Dayton rims.
So roll, roll the ’83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
If my tapes and my cds just don’t sell, I bet my caddy will.

I met this lady in Hollywood. She had green hair, but damn she looked good.
I took her to my house, cause she was fine, but she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine.
I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African.
I fucked her once, I fucked her twice. I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice.
Don’t be amazed at the stories I tell ya. I met a woman in the heart of Australia.
Had a big butt and big titties, too, so I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo.
See, I met this woman from Hawaii. Stuck it in her ass, and she said, Aiiiiieeee!
Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch, then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch.
Met Colonel Sander’s wife in the state of Kentucky. She said, I’ll fry some chicken if you just fuck me.
I came in her mouth. It was a crisis. I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that’s all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.
Hey, wait a minute man, check this out.

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee. Her titties were filled with Hennesy.
That country music really drove me crazy, but I rode that ass and said, Yes, Miss Daisy!
Met this lady in Oklahoma; put that pussy in a coma.
Met this lady in Michigan; I can’t wait ’til I fuck that bitch again.
Met a real black girl in South Carolina; fucked her ’til she turned into a white albino.
Fucked this hooker in Iowa. I fucked her on credit, so I owe her.
Fucked this girl, down in Georgia; came in her mouth. Man, I thought I told ya.
Met this beautiful sexy ho; she just ran cross the border of Mexico.
Fine young thing, said her name’s Maria. I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla.
I wanna get married, but I can’t afford it. I know I’ma cry when she gets deported.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that’s all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong.

Have you ever went over to a girl’s house to fuck, but the pussy just ain’t no good? (SAY WHAT?)
And then you’re getting’ upset cause you can’t get her wet, plus you in the wrong neighborhood?
So you try to play it off and eat the pussy, but it takes her so long to come (SAY WHAT?)
Then a dude walks in. That’s her big boyfriend, and he asks you where you from? (Where you from, man?)
So you wipe your mouth, and you try to explain (I don’t bang.), you start talkin’ real fast.
But he’s already mad, cause you fuckin’ his woman, so he starts beatin’ on your ass.
Now your clothes all muddy, your nose all bloody, your dick was hard but now it’s soft. (WHUT?)
You thought you had a girl to rock your world, now you still gotta go jack off.

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that’s all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.

1  5

Last year I did it with a BIGGIE verse, so its only right I hit you with a 2-Pac verse this year. This one goes to the tune of Changes…enjoy…

Come on Come on
I see no changes
Wake up in the morning and I ask myself
Is Bobby V still talkin’? Should he watch himself?
I’m tired of being forced to listen to his jaw that flaps
My stomach hurts, this motherfucka used to coach some Japs
Sox give a damn about a negro?
Put a nigga in the field and he’s a zero
Let their fans talk shit, who the hell cares?
We got 20 more pieces of that hardware
First ship ‘em chicken & let ‘em grease together
Give ‘em beer, step back, and watch ‘em collapse forever
“It’s time to fight back” that’s what Chin Pubey said
2 back to back shots and AROD gets in Chin Pubey’s head
I got love for Pedroia’s brother,
but it can never go nowhere
Unless we share toddlers with each other.
We gotta start makin’ changes
Learn to see the Sox as brothers ‘stead of ass to mouth dangers.
And that’s not how it’s gonna be
How can the Yankees have a brother if he always bleeds anally?
I’d love to go back and say he didn’t rape those kids
But things changed, Lackey did and that’s the way it is

8  8

Boston’s recedin’ like Jeter’s hairline
Saw Arod with an American Gladiator doin 69
Don’t go smooth to the plate you’ll be balkin
Cashman bangs bitches and they get arrested for stalkin

7  4

I’m a Husky, but used to roll with Cuse
My girl makes cupcakes after I choke her with a noose
By the age of 13, I had a full stache
Now I pitch small cap stocks to make that cash

0  3

LUMPS
LUMPS
LUMPS
LUMPS

2  13

Was there ever any doubt that I wouldn’t opt out?

I announced it on Twitter, so all my followers could scream and shout.

I got more dough, in fact a whole bunch.

Now I’m going to eat my weight in Cap’n Crunch.

Thanks to this extension I’ll be in the Bronx for years to come.

I’m so glad we got rid of AJ Burnett, that guy is a bum.

He took one in the eye — like Ralphie from A Christmas Story — and that shit was straight fire.

I hope he now has to wear goggles when he plays, just like Amare Stoudemire.

Who the fuck are these fake Steinbrenners trying to cut payroll?

Where was this mindset a few years ago when they gave out the worst contract ever to A-Hole?

I’ll take the mound every fifth day and with each step you’ll hear a thud.

You better not fuck with me, my poop is longer and thicker than your pud.

We got rid of Jesus. Why? Dear Lord that kid can mash.

Pineda better hold it down or I’m gunna go sodomize Cash.

We re-signed Sweaty Freddy — ohhhh great.

Fuck it, I’ll put this team on back and in 2012 we’ll have 28.

2  3

That ball is high, just like me
Unlike Jorge, my hands got no pee.
An A-Bomb from A-Rod, or maybe El Capitan
You’ll think that fly to second is really a gone.

Am I wailing Suzyn? The world may never know.
Everyone thinks I’m just another John Doe.
Here’s a secret: You can’t predict baseball
But Mark can send Tex Messages from here all the way to Saint Paul.

A Ribbie for Robbie makes everyone Swishalicious
I still think El Comedulce would be mighty delicious.
I’m not homeless, I’ve got the Lowe’s Broadcast Booth
And unlike Brett Pedroia, I don’t hang with the youth.

Russel has muscle, and so do I,
The Grandyman can, you may hear me cry
Signing off, it’s me, the Voice of the Yankees
One more thing: Suzyn and I do the Hanky Panky!

4  4

Why these bitches have to run and blow up my spot?

I regret that I ever ate her twat.

I guess Louise didn’t really Meanwell.

To be honest, I hope she burns in hell.

This is what I get for wanting a little strange.

The poon was so good, but now my life is about to change.

I stuck my thumb in her ass, licked her labia and chewed on her clit.

It sucks now because Mary’s going to take half my shit.

3  5

Sam18 @nyyfags is a doucebag
Sam18 @nyyfags is a doucebag
Sam18 @nyyfags is a doucebag
Sam18 @nyyfags is a doucebag
Sam18 @nyyfags is a doucebag
Sam18 @nyyfags is a doucebag
Sam18 @nyyfags is a doucebag
Sam18 @nyyfags is a doucebag
Sam18 @nyyfags is a doucebag
Sam18 @nyyfags is a doucebag

1  3

met this skank at a bar in the bronx
she said hey big boy show me yo rocks
took that bitch home and rode her all night
this skank bent over and put up no fight

then i dropped big loads on her tits ass and face
her chicken head went down my rocket’s base
made that bitch gag on the sticky launch site
she said that was fun i’m spendin the night

hell no this cunt won’t mooch off my fame
fuck that shit here’s a ball with jete’s name
now get the fuck out and don’t wipe yo’ face dry
go walk in shame with my seed in yo’ eye

3  3

Dot a deep farm system,
Need to let the kids loose,
Cut salary at the same time,
So we can eventually re-sign Jesus.

0  4

Lets talk some baseball while the Yanks are down South.
Brett Pedroia, that doesn’t go in your mouth!

Ok ok. Enough about the Pedroias.
We know they play with more balls than the Georgetown Hoyas.

With the best players on earth, just like a can of Snapple.
It’s time for number twenty-eight down in the Big Apple.

So Boston and Tampa prepare the long faces.
The Twenty-Twelve Bronx Bombers tighter than Girardi’s braces.

2  3

2012 Yankees- don’t be a hater
Ca$h money pulling strings, man have you seen Pineda?
Kay, Singleton, and Coney in the booth
These clowns think A-Rod is the next Babe Ruth

Turn up CBS880, time to hear the voice of John Sterling
Calling games from above while CC is hurling
Posada retired while AJ got traded
Jeter left his girl feeling lonely and jaded

Cano is a perennial MVP candidate
Hitting balls all over the field, bitch is mechanic
Teixiera says that he’s going to bunt
Meanwhile A-Rod found another dried up cunt

Bobby V is the new man in Boston, rivalry renewed
How are the Sox gonna win while eating all that fried food?
Meanwhile, alcohol is no longer allowed
2012 Red Sox prepare to get PLOWED.

0  4

Get your Jew on!

0  4

I’m all alone with my toys
Since hubby Bernie plays with boys
Arod likes his gals kind of butchee
Jete’s hit over 3000 coochee
Johnny Damon’s got a wife that’s a honey
Cash plows a psycho gash and loses money

1  2

2012 be calling
CC weight be fallin’
Cap’n Crunch be sinkin’ ’cause the brotha still ballin’

Ca$h makin’ it nice, armed once and twice
Kuroda bringin’ the soy
Pineda makin’ some noise
The staff in the Bronx be fine like taste-er’s choice

With the spring time season flavor all around
The Bombers makin’ it rain on misty Tampa ground
Jitty got the palace that make the ladies go BLAAWWW
Mink ya’ gotta keep checkin’, who you servin’ now?

Derek gettin’ older still rockin’ the fade
Checkin’ rings on a tree, the fro’s slidin’ with age
Brotha Po is gone, Electricity too
It’s sure better for me, I hope it’s better for you

Time to creep up north on them Beantown rats
Poison they chicken and break the taps
Bobby V got nothin’ gonna help that crew
Chiba Lotte sounds nice, a tip from me to you

So 2012 is callin’ yo lets get on the train
C-Grand smackin’ the ball, Alex tappin’ the vein
Tex gotta fix the shift and just on keep rakin’
Yankees rollin’ once again, World Series for the takin’

1  4