1. His character is a slob who for some reason has enough money to never have to work a real job.
2. Despite being a slob, his character is always involved with one or more insanely hot chicks who would not touch the real Adam Sandler with Rush Limbaugh’s dick.
3. Make sure that his character champions the cause of some defenseless old lady or otherwise helpless, sympathetic character, so that no matter how unsavory Sandler is, you can’t route against him.
4. Make the villian some other guy who, while extremely successful and well-liked, is secretly a conniving douchebag, just like every successful guy is in real life (except of course Sandler’s rich character who, like I said, somehow has lots of money that he didn’t earn).
5. Make sure all of Sandler’s “friends” in the movie are dumber than Adam’s character, less successful, and more pathetic so that Sandler can seem smarter/nicer/more moral/better looking just by being in the same frame with them.
Repeat this process over and over and over.
10
Red from Surviving Grady March 17, 2012 15:56Reply
Thats right Sully, I did a thorough investigation on behalf of my employers and my good friend Mr. Selig and found the Red Sox to be beyond reproach. Don’t listen to these lies and smears from people from outside the organization, what do they know?
Andy Pettitte >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Any of the fried chicken and beer drinking losers in the Red Sox rotation.
26 Comments
Ana March 17, 2012 14:28
Hahaha
John Turtturo March 17, 2012 15:01
I like feet.
Rex Ryan March 18, 2012 07:57
So do I.
captain obvious March 17, 2012 15:42
Just may be the last movie Adam did that was watchable. Very sad…..
Marshmellow man March 18, 2012 07:01
He made a watchable movie?
Nick Social March 18, 2012 19:41
Happy Gilmore is superb.
Marshmellow man March 19, 2012 05:13
My estimation of you just dropped a couple of notches.
Joeybagonuts March 22, 2012 21:27
Adam Sandler formula:
1. His character is a slob who for some reason has enough money to never have to work a real job.
2. Despite being a slob, his character is always involved with one or more insanely hot chicks who would not touch the real Adam Sandler with Rush Limbaugh’s dick.
3. Make sure that his character champions the cause of some defenseless old lady or otherwise helpless, sympathetic character, so that no matter how unsavory Sandler is, you can’t route against him.
4. Make the villian some other guy who, while extremely successful and well-liked, is secretly a conniving douchebag, just like every successful guy is in real life (except of course Sandler’s rich character who, like I said, somehow has lots of money that he didn’t earn).
5. Make sure all of Sandler’s “friends” in the movie are dumber than Adam’s character, less successful, and more pathetic so that Sandler can seem smarter/nicer/more moral/better looking just by being in the same frame with them.
Repeat this process over and over and over.
Red from Surviving Grady March 17, 2012 15:56
Um…we’re scared.
http://www.survivinggrady.com/
David Ortiz March 17, 2012 20:09
Did somebody say PEDs? Uhh, I mean… milkshakes???
The Truth March 18, 2012 07:58
Straight up, until that fat fuck announces what he took, you know Red Sox Nation the test he failed in 2003, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND DIE!!!!!!!!!
Sully March 18, 2012 13:00
Lies! You are a liah! the Sawx are gritty and play baseball the right way!
George Mitchell March 18, 2012 13:03
Thats right Sully, I did a thorough investigation on behalf of my employers and my good friend Mr. Selig and found the Red Sox to be beyond reproach. Don’t listen to these lies and smears from people from outside the organization, what do they know?
Pete C. March 19, 2012 05:15
Can’t get that D.C. speak out of your system can you Georgie boy?
Ki m Last March 19, 2012 15:54
Lumps?
Lumps
jhgfsdilghfl;GF March 22, 2012 14:26
Andy Pettitte >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Any of the fried chicken and beer drinking losers in the Red Sox rotation.
Moshe Mandel March 17, 2012 16:08
Jews are sneaky? I’ll sue!
Andy Pettitte March 17, 2012 17:12
Remember when you guys needed me last year when the rotation was CC and a bunch of scrubs?
Joe Girardi March 17, 2012 17:32
Yeah but it turns out we still won the division. We could have used you in game 2 of the ALDS rather than “Steady” Freddie.
The Truth March 18, 2012 07:59
No we could have used some offense in game 5, remember?
Joe Girardi March 18, 2012 08:17
I’m not the one with the bat in my hands.
AJ Burnett March 17, 2012 20:04
I remember that! I actually pitched better than CC during that series!!
Ryan Braun March 17, 2012 20:13
as if the HGH usage wasn’t sneaky enough.
Malcolm March 18, 2012 07:04
Where’d that white boy get a foot transplant from a brother?
Better be the only appendage they been transplanting.
Joe Páwlikowski March 19, 2012 15:55
The only sneaky thing is my boyfriend inserting two fingers.
Sensitive RAB Guy March 20, 2012 17:42
somehow i don’t believe that’s still sneaky