Lose my job? Next year I’ll have a rotation with four aces, one of the youngest teams in baseball, a stocked farm system and $40 million in payroll to spend on free agents to fill the holes on my team. If anyone is losing their job it is Cashman.
Hultzen, Walker & Paxton in AA. Why do you think I’d trade a guy who throws 96 mph and was an all-star his first season? I’m loaded with pitching and have the third pick of the draft this year too.
I just passed Whitey Ford in consecutive wins (15). I’m ’bout to tie Roger Clemens for the all-time consecutive wins record (16)for a Yankee pitcher. You lost your last two starts against the Yankees. Please keep that streak going; don’t fuck this shit up.
“Look at your starting line up versus me for their career. I have pushed their shit so far in, it’s coming out their noses.” 4-2 Tiger win tonight, mark it!
In no way does the pisspoor judgement my client Cashman has shown with that crazy bitch indicative of his player selection skills. Now please pay attention to the launch of the Yankees perfume, so I can collect my bazillion dollar retainer in peace!
I think it’s gotta be all dat eatin’. Da whole shovelin’ motion can’t be good on the arms. Watamelons are heavy, an’ so are Olde English fawties (40s).
(Breathes into microphone. Dead air. Shuffles papers, squints, shrugs.)
And makin’ flapjacks is a we-uhd (weird) motion for da shoulda. It’s biz-ah. It’s just awd. Joba knows dat too. When da medics found him on da floor near da trampoline, he was bleedin’ maple syrup. He looks like a Mrs. Buttaworth’s guy ta me.
Rangers fans who ignored crying young boy and wouldn’t give him the ball, ask for an APOLOGY from Michael Kay?? For pointing out how wrong they were?? WOW… everbody loves being assholes, ’til their assholeness is made public and the video goes viral. Take some fucking accountability for your actions, own up, and do the right thing next time! Nobody owes you SHIT!
58 Comments
TSJC April 26, 2012 22:52
Real niggas don’t whine
bartonbickle April 26, 2012 22:57
Guy’s going to lose his job soon so at least there’s that.
Frank Footer April 26, 2012 23:01
True, he’ll most likely be unemployed soon but the Mariners still get to keep Jesus Montero and we’re stuck with damaged goods.
bartonbickle April 26, 2012 23:41
Montero is going to be the next Juan Rivera and Jose Campos is going to be the next King Felix. Ship it!
Dee April 27, 2012 11:06
And then when Campos is traded, you’ll see that Campos sucked. Typical Yankee fan.
Nick Johnson April 26, 2012 23:42
Don’t make fun of the fragile, you jerk. I threw out my back the other day when I let out a particularly violent sneeze. Not fun.
Nick Johnson April 27, 2012 16:28
Then the next day I blew out both hamstrings when I farted.
Stew Nod April 26, 2012 22:58
I don’t get this photoshop.
CJ April 27, 2012 09:18
You must be less than 21 years old.
Jack Z April 26, 2012 23:00
Holy fuck am I ugly.
Eduardo Núñez April 26, 2012 23:02
HAHAHAHAHAAH FOCK you Nomaas u loved pineda trade !
Brandon April 26, 2012 23:03
Montero: .265/.278/.368/.646
Yeah but April 27, 2012 09:29
Montero: DOB 11-28-89
Louise Meanwell April 26, 2012 23:04
tell me how my ass tastes
Jack Z April 26, 2012 23:37
Lose my job? Next year I’ll have a rotation with four aces, one of the youngest teams in baseball, a stocked farm system and $40 million in payroll to spend on free agents to fill the holes on my team. If anyone is losing their job it is Cashman.
King Felix April 27, 2012 00:21
I’m definitely an ace, but who the fuck are the other three? My team sucks balls.
Jack Z April 27, 2012 00:35
Hultzen, Walker & Paxton in AA. Why do you think I’d trade a guy who throws 96 mph and was an all-star his first season? I’m loaded with pitching and have the third pick of the draft this year too.
Brian S. April 27, 2012 02:38
Yes, please call up those pitchers after they finish AA. Yankees fans will tell you how that turns out.
Jack Z April 27, 2012 10:31
I’m not a fucktard and actually know how to spot and develop young talent.
Joeybagonuts April 27, 2012 12:42
Sounds like you possess amazing skills that no other baseball mind has: the ability to KNOW when a young prospect is guaranteed to become a ML ace.
Congratulations on that! Oh, and I will buy that bridge you’re selling, too!
Jack Z April 27, 2012 15:41
Give me $200 million and the Mariners would never lose another game.
CC Sabathia April 27, 2012 00:42
Who the fuck are the other four in my rotation?
Hiroki Kuroda April 27, 2012 03:42
Kuroda!
Phil Hughes April 27, 2012 03:44
Hey, I had a good spring; that’s why I’m still here. Pineda’s going to follow in my footsteps.
Pineda's shoulder April 27, 2012 00:10
He likes it gentle like unlike how hard I took it.
Jesus Montero April 27, 2012 01:10
Pineda is Spanish for Pavano… Fuckers
Brian Cashman April 27, 2012 01:12
Sorry… Was too busy dealing with my busted ass stalker to look at medical reports
Louise Meanwell April 27, 2012 09:37
You didn’t call me busted when you were asking to ride the Hershey Highway. Not that I felt anything in missionary.
Phil Hughes April 27, 2012 01:13
My mouth looks like a pirahna
Andy Pettite April 27, 2012 01:14
Guess who’s big ass is coming back..
Dear Justin Verlander, April 27, 2012 02:23
I just passed Whitey Ford in consecutive wins (15). I’m ’bout to tie Roger Clemens for the all-time consecutive wins record (16)for a Yankee pitcher. You lost your last two starts against the Yankees. Please keep that streak going; don’t fuck this shit up.
Love,
Ivan “Super” Nova
Mr. Verlander April 27, 2012 10:37
“Look at your starting line up versus me for their career. I have pushed their shit so far in, it’s coming out their noses.” 4-2 Tiger win tonight, mark it!
All I have to say is... April 27, 2012 02:37
#6 org
Yankees Spokesperson April 27, 2012 08:19
In no way does the pisspoor judgement my client Cashman has shown with that crazy bitch indicative of his player selection skills. Now please pay attention to the launch of the Yankees perfume, so I can collect my bazillion dollar retainer in peace!
Hey, remember me? April 27, 2012 08:48
You picked Freddy Garcia instead of this. http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/early-lead/post/bartolo-colon-throws-38-consecutive-strikes-in-as-win/2012/04/20/gIQAql5uTT_blog.html
Front Office Accountability April 27, 2012 10:32
“If you’ll excuse me a minute, I’m going to jump out this window here…..”
Cash April 27, 2012 08:57
But Freddy is a good clubhouse guy. Like Ibanez and Stewart.
Brian S. April 27, 2012 09:18
He looks sexy.
Mike Francesa's Accent April 27, 2012 10:52
I think it’s gotta be all dat eatin’. Da whole shovelin’ motion can’t be good on the arms. Watamelons are heavy, an’ so are Olde English fawties (40s).
(Breathes into microphone. Dead air. Shuffles papers, squints, shrugs.)
And makin’ flapjacks is a we-uhd (weird) motion for da shoulda. It’s biz-ah. It’s just awd. Joba knows dat too. When da medics found him on da floor near da trampoline, he was bleedin’ maple syrup. He looks like a Mrs. Buttaworth’s guy ta me.
Here’s da Minkman.
Fucking Nauseating April 27, 2012 11:15
Rangers fans who ignored crying young boy and wouldn’t give him the ball, ask for an APOLOGY from Michael Kay?? For pointing out how wrong they were?? WOW… everbody loves being assholes, ’til their assholeness is made public and the video goes viral. Take some fucking accountability for your actions, own up, and do the right thing next time! Nobody owes you SHIT!
http://network.yardbarker.com/mlb/article_external/backyard/insensitive_rangers_fans_want_an_apology/10658087?refmod=backyard
The Truth April 27, 2012 12:44
Lucky that little boy was white, or there’d be some real trouble
E-Thug April 27, 2012 15:51
Yeah it’s a good thing I wasn’t there pretending to be a tough guy. There would have been some trouble, right mom?
Random Thought April 27, 2012 11:23
I wanna see a Biggie Smalls remix. One More Chance, featuring Freddy Garcia. Shit, I’ll take a video, photoshop pic… anything.
Even Better April 27, 2012 11:27
“Orioles Go Local With Selection of Hoes”
You gotta love that title. Seems they found this one on a street corner!
http://www.maxpreps.com/news/IrPE8ghOtE2VttrL4ebhdg/dc–orioles-go-local-with-selection-of-hoes.htm
Now, I KNOW this is disrespectful to Flanny, but I would LOVE to see a remix of “Area Codes (I Got Hoes)” by Ludacris, featuring Buck Showalter.
Buck April 27, 2012 15:26
I see you’re already way ahead of me
MLB Merchandising April 28, 2012 05:59
Delmon Young April 27, 2012 11:35
He looks like a fat assed Jew to me.
Ronan Tynan April 27, 2012 12:40
Let’s grab a beer later, ok?
Mel Gibson April 27, 2012 15:51
I’m Buying.
Brian Cashman's Motto April 27, 2012 14:28
Ruinin’ young arms like a boss
R2-D2 April 27, 2012 15:54
I’d sleep like a baby too if I knew i had a pigeon in my pocket like Cashman to run the Kansas City shuffle on whenever i wanted
Artisan bagel hipster April 27, 2012 16:11
Latin for really gay commercial.
Cash April 27, 2012 16:15
no texas rangers player should ever throw another ball into the crowd. should be a sign next to ‘no pepper ‘ for that
internet TOUGH guy April 27, 2012 16:29
I know kung-fu and nine other martial arts. I killed each and everyone of my masters with my bare hands.
Let me get a chance to do my “quart of blood” technique and it’s over.
Eduardo Núñez April 27, 2012 18:56
MOTHERFOCKER U NO KUNGFU AND I KNO FUK U JAJAJAJA FUNNY TIME MAMAGUEVO
FiFi The Poodle April 27, 2012 17:49
Why is his right arm coming out of his spleen?
Eduardo Núñez April 29, 2012 11:42
COS SEATTLE HAVEZ BROKEN RITHANDED PEOPLE REDY TO FUK YANKEES IN ASS
SGT Murtaugh May 1, 2012 07:51
I once did a guy from Laos…….