At NoMaas HQ, we literally fell asleep before last night’s game ended. Can you blame us? Thus, we didn’t update the site at our normal late evening hour. So instead of satirically commenting on last night’s snoozefest, courtesy of Yankee bats, we ask one simple question:
36 Comments
Yankees Offense May 3, 2012 10:27
Does tapping Suzyn raise our batting average? BABIP?
John Sterling May 3, 2012 11:15
Been there, done that. She apparently gets very turned on when I whisper ‘You can’t predict baseball’ sexily into her ear.
Just the two of us May 3, 2012 11:19
Back to back…and a belly to belly!
New York Times Sports Desk May 3, 2012 13:19
Wait a minute, you’re not gay?
Joe Páwlikowski May 4, 2012 15:27
I am.
Jake May 3, 2012 10:31
If I face them enough, I will win the Cy Young.
Brian Cashman's Motto May 3, 2012 10:36
we need another arm or 2 in the bullpen…
Jesus Montero May 3, 2012 10:37
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA @ that potent offense
how about updating me
.292 .301 .449
Jesus Montero May 3, 2012 10:38
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
IBANEZ .242 .294 .435
Jesus Montero May 3, 2012 10:40
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
your clean up hitter
.255 .308 .367
Jesus Montero May 3, 2012 12:36
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAH
Andruw Jones
.167.279.417
Jesus Montero May 3, 2012 18:35
HAHAHAHAHAHA Michael Pineda came here to click
Random Guy May 4, 2012 13:31
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAH..Enjoy playing for a 4th place team for the next 5+ years.
Ki m Last May 4, 2012 15:26
Lumps.
Buck Showalter May 3, 2012 10:37
Glad to see you guys showed proper respect to Flanny this week.
Derek Jeter May 3, 2012 10:39
Zero. It takes her at least 3 signed baseballs to step foot into my pad.
Curved Slightly May 3, 2012 10:42
Suzyn Waldman? You can’t even drink that bitch pretty. Meredith Marakovits, however… I’d do a few dirty things to her.
ESPNRadio May 3, 2012 10:42
We’re on FM now! That means we have a large enough range to justify bidding for The Yankees radio broadcast rights…which we will most certainly do. And, even better news: we are also going to get rid of Sterling and Waldo. If we do that can you stop calling us ESPNESN? Thx…
The Truth May 3, 2012 11:52
Fire Kruk, Ravetch and Schilling & we will take you seriously. Until then fuck off.
internet TOUGH guy May 3, 2012 10:45
I only bang fine chicks. Did I ever tell you the story about when I pretended to be a photographer for Sports Illustrated at NYC fashion show?
FormerMetsGMStevePhillips May 3, 2012 10:45
Zero! Clearly. Rey Ordonez rules- best SS in NYC history!
Moshe Mandel May 3, 2012 10:49
I only drink Fresca.
Joe Torre May 3, 2012 10:50
You weren’t the *YAWN* only one to fall asleep.
2005 Robinson Cano May 3, 2012 10:51
Future batting champion!
2012 Robinson Cano May 3, 2012 10:51
Future batting champion?
1982-present Robinson Cano May 3, 2012 12:13
Lazy.
2014-2019 Robinson Cano May 3, 2012 16:13
Fast declining player on a bloated NYY contract, a specialty.
Josh Lueke May 3, 2012 11:50
Did someone ask how many drinks it would take?
Bobby Petrino May 3, 2012 11:54
Tell you what put an Arkansas jersey on her, give her a few spins on my motorcycle and some hootch from the deep south and were bumpin uglies like no tomorrow. WOOOOOOOO PIG SOOOOOEY.
Brian Cashman May 3, 2012 14:03
0 drinks. In fact, I’d pay her big cash money.
The conductor May 3, 2012 14:05
Yanks should run a train on Suzyn, it can’t make them play any worse.
I'm Just Sayin' May 3, 2012 14:16
Good thing the Yanks lose some games like this. Otherwise, the whole simpleminded “If we had 200mil” trash-line would be even more idiotic.
At least readers have these tremendous posts.
What a bevy of substance…
I’m Just Sayin’
Bevy of substance May 3, 2012 14:37
If you want substance here you go. The team is horribly put together. I love the Yankees but their personell decisions are horrible. Its almost as bad as their pitching developement. The killer B’s are not developing as expected so they were either over hyped or are not being groomed properly. Most likely they are being over babied like Hughes and Joba were. I like Eric Chavez but the guy is more brittle than Nick Johnson and thats saying a lot. The team has to many guys that are there to hit 15 to 20 homers, ie Ibanez, Jones, Swisher. They need more guys that can hit for average or they will never win it all. What they have now should get them in the playoffs unless their pitching continues to self destruct but they won’t win. Its not about how much money you spend its how you spend it.
The Knowledge May 4, 2012 07:42
I agree except for the Killer B’s comment
they arent panning out to what you expect them too but they have been pretty good in their short career, the problem is that developing pitching is just hard, it doesnt matter what team you are unless you are the Rays you probably have starting pitching that never works out, yes theres the braves but look at their young trio this year!
Inside the Mind of Tex May 3, 2012 18:16
Wow Am I washed up or what?
Joe Páwlikowski May 4, 2012 15:28
I’d eat Waldman’s ass after Sterling’s.