No, but only because your bat isn’t elite. I would’ve loved if the Yankees could acquire a player like Brett Gardner. Listen, you fucking troll, go back under your bridge. You’re an idiot, probably ages 8-13 or 40+.
OK, I’m done. I would be very happy if the Yankees traded for a Brett Gardner. I would not be jumping at the heels demanding Cash trade for you though (I’d be more concerned with a lefty DH). Can you understand that, you troll?
Hey guys remember me? OK that bitch is safe and snug at the bottom of the Trenton river. Now have Cash call Reuben Amaro and just offer tickets to the Bonnaro festival & I’m yours whaddaya say?
This is terrible. For 30 years I’ve been focused on crushing the Yankees. I’ve done things that no commissioner had ever dared. I’ve confiscated a billion dollars from that franchise. I’ve used a luxury tax to turn their payroll into my personal slush fund. I sent my boy in Boston George Mitchell on a mission to dig up PED dirt on the team while his team was toasting with Dominican Milkshakes every night.
But that wasn’t enough, was it? You fools with your high standards and dedication to excellence, you make me sick. Then I had to go after your farm system and make sure the Yankees couldn’t restock with international players or overpay snot-nosed punks in the draft.
And still this? THIS?
I will not rest until the Yankees are mired in last place. So long as a rasping breath escapes my cadaverous lips, I will dedicate every waking moment to destroying this franchise for the good of baseball. And if I can make a few bucks for me and my friends in ten ownership suites? Well that’s just the American way.
R. A. Dickey's Imminent Regression June 19, 2012 01:07Reply
Some n00b just tried to tell me that a 9 k/9 knuckleballer with a 258 BABIP and an 82% strand rate is headed for a terribly humiliating correction. Crazy, right? Or was that Jerry Sandusky telling me that he had a terrible erection?
clemens verdict is a travesty of justice. guilt is written all over his face. democrats are great, rich republicans are evil. theres been a lot of hope and change
63 Comments
Joe Torre's Dugout Booger June 18, 2012 22:25
Dont everyone get too excited….after all, Im not even awake yet…
By the way, do you have any grey poupon?
John Flaherty June 19, 2012 00:55
I love Chris Stewart
Joe G June 19, 2012 00:55
I love Stewartie too
Bexy June 19, 2012 00:56
Not Andy, but I would still EAT HIM UP
CC June 19, 2012 00:56
Did somebody say EAT??
Ki m Last June 19, 2012 14:35
Someone say lumps?
Brett Gardner June 18, 2012 22:25
You know what’s not perfect? That WAR stat that says I’m valuable. Hahahah.
Joe Torre's Dugout Booger June 18, 2012 22:28
Fuck you Joboo!
Brian S. June 18, 2012 22:53
STFU ABOMB
Brian S. June 19, 2012 14:36
This is not me.
Negrodamus June 18, 2012 23:00
Ignorant moron willfully ignores facts.
Brett Gardner June 19, 2012 00:10
If I was on another team you would be clamoring to obtain me? get the fuck out of here.
Negrodamus June 19, 2012 00:15
No, but only because your bat isn’t elite. I would’ve loved if the Yankees could acquire a player like Brett Gardner. Listen, you fucking troll, go back under your bridge. You’re an idiot, probably ages 8-13 or 40+.
Brett Gardner June 19, 2012 00:48
first you say no then yes. you’re confused. then you don’t realize I’m 28?
C’mon you got to do better than that if you want to remain prez of my fan club.
Negrodamus June 19, 2012 00:50
OK, I’m done. I would be very happy if the Yankees traded for a Brett Gardner. I would not be jumping at the heels demanding Cash trade for you though (I’d be more concerned with a lefty DH). Can you understand that, you troll?
Brett Gardner June 19, 2012 00:58
I have a funny shaped head
TSJC June 19, 2012 14:37
I rape white boys, punk.
Fielding Percentage June 19, 2012 06:59
It sure beats me!
Faz June 19, 2012 08:29
Amazing how there are Yankee fans who actively root against Brett Gardner.
Sensitive RAB Guy June 19, 2012 13:02
STFU shogun / troof / a-bomb / random black guy
random black guy June 19, 2012 17:58
fuck you
TSJC June 20, 2012 14:33
MY NIGGA!
Analyst June 18, 2012 22:29
All the Yankees need now is Been Sheets to put this team over the top.
Brett Gardner June 19, 2012 00:09
Don’t you mean they need me to win it all?
The 17th Century June 18, 2012 22:37
Who would have guessed a group of Yankees would rape and pillage the Braves?
rough truth June 18, 2012 22:48
Bo Derek is still bangable. Crazy right?
Laura Posada June 18, 2012 22:50
You know what else deserves a perfect ten? I’ll give you a hint:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-O5oOUuyTloA/TlV5GLzoLXI/AAAAAAAAdak/_7u5gEKseCo/s1600/laura-posada-2.jpg
Shogun of Harlem June 18, 2012 23:03
Holy shit, no wonder why Posada retired…instead of pissing on his hands he can piss on his wifes tits! Shooo enuff!
Sensitive RAB Guy June 19, 2012 13:03
can i piss on your moobs?
TSJC June 19, 2012 14:38
We will rape you, honky.
Bartolo Colon June 19, 2012 22:15
I will, only if you take me to ALL YOU CAN EAT buffet after OKAY
Bexy June 19, 2012 00:59
If that’s a ten, THIS is an eleven:
http://a0.twimg.com/profile_images/2269890891/s0kxf1fc866fmqjvmdv3.jpeg
Mitt Romney June 19, 2012 18:06
I literally jerked off to this. Us Mormons love to wank to hideous creatures as long as we wear our special underwear.
Bryce Harper June 20, 2012 05:01
That’s a clown spank, bro
Ki m Last June 20, 2012 14:34
Clown lumps
Cliff Lee June 18, 2012 23:09
Hey
Cliff Lee June 18, 2012 23:12
Hey guys remember me? OK that bitch is safe and snug at the bottom of the Trenton river. Now have Cash call Reuben Amaro and just offer tickets to the Bonnaro festival & I’m yours whaddaya say?
Cliff Lee's Wife June 19, 2012 00:50
Your testicles are still in my trophy case
Moshe Mandel June 18, 2012 23:44
That’s a hot piece of Jew ass.
R.A. Dickey June 18, 2012 23:54
10 game winning streaks lol
Omar Minaya June 19, 2012 00:43
I signed RA while Cashman was fucking some ugly whore not worried about the yankees
Jose Reyes June 19, 2012 00:53
Meanwhile, I can’t wait to be on Miami’s DL for the next five years!
Jim Thome June 19, 2012 00:11
Me at DH – make it happen.
Impeach John & Suzyn June 19, 2012 00:19
You just can’t explain baseball!
BadAssBillyCurtis June 19, 2012 14:38
Rat spines!
Mitt Romney June 19, 2012 18:07
It’s been a while. Welcome back, have some relocates!
Bud Selig June 19, 2012 00:38
This is terrible. For 30 years I’ve been focused on crushing the Yankees. I’ve done things that no commissioner had ever dared. I’ve confiscated a billion dollars from that franchise. I’ve used a luxury tax to turn their payroll into my personal slush fund. I sent my boy in Boston George Mitchell on a mission to dig up PED dirt on the team while his team was toasting with Dominican Milkshakes every night.
But that wasn’t enough, was it? You fools with your high standards and dedication to excellence, you make me sick. Then I had to go after your farm system and make sure the Yankees couldn’t restock with international players or overpay snot-nosed punks in the draft.
And still this? THIS?
I will not rest until the Yankees are mired in last place. So long as a rasping breath escapes my cadaverous lips, I will dedicate every waking moment to destroying this franchise for the good of baseball. And if I can make a few bucks for me and my friends in ten ownership suites? Well that’s just the American way.
BRian Cashman June 19, 2012 00:45
Stop trying to take away the credit from my reign of doing nothing with 100 times more than everyone’s payroll.
AL & World Series Titles June 19, 2012 10:05
What about me?
Andruw Jones June 19, 2012 00:48
I’m D-O-N-E.
R. A. Dickey's Imminent Regression June 19, 2012 01:07
Some n00b just tried to tell me that a 9 k/9 knuckleballer with a 258 BABIP and an 82% strand rate is headed for a terribly humiliating correction. Crazy, right? Or was that Jerry Sandusky telling me that he had a terrible erection?
Jeremy June 19, 2012 01:46
Just like Linsanity, Dickeyfest will soon die a quick and painless death.
The Truth June 19, 2012 06:14
Hopefully we will begin the process Sunday Night.
Captain Crunch Sabbath June 19, 2012 08:01
I got this!
Michael Pineda June 19, 2012 09:19
Ouch! I can’t even pick up my platanos right now! But don’t worry, I’ll be throwing Beisbols in the Bronk real soon mang.
Mitt Romney June 19, 2012 18:09
Stop taking American jobs away you dirty man.
Mike L. NYDnewwz June 19, 2012 09:36
clemens verdict is a travesty of justice. guilt is written all over his face. democrats are great, rich republicans are evil. theres been a lot of hope and change
Obama June 19, 2012 14:39
I LOVE YOU MIKE. YOU SORT UGLY MUTANT LIBERAL.
Sears Junior Men's Department June 19, 2012 09:51
Mr. Lupica, where were you this weekend? You missed your appointment for your fitting!
Victoria's Secret June 19, 2012 15:35
We have some lacy bras and panties on reserve under the name ‘Mike Lupica’ as well
Brett Gardener June 19, 2012 10:07
Fruits and vegetables only, flowers are for faggots.
F the CBA June 19, 2012 11:21
We will never lose again! Take that, small market baseball.
Joe Páwlikowski June 19, 2012 14:39
I dream of giving handy’s to them all.