Last night a team emerged on the road. Not a team with big stars or a big payroll, but a team that makes you want to watch them. A likeable team, a team that plays like a team. These men from Queens are a fun to watch and easy to root for. Why? Because they are a team. There are a lot of great stories in baseball, but the one in Queens is the one to watch. The Nationals, Stephen Strasburg is a nice kid, but woul you rather have him or RA Dickey? The Mets show you every night why they are a team. Last night in Tamps was one of those nights. The Sox got one last night to, The Yankees know that Bobby V’s team is coming.
Hey bitches, I’m back, sooner than I’m sure you prophesied. You see that screamer I sent into the first row? How about you leave the baseball to me and just post pictures? Keep grabbin’ your junk, I got another comin’ soon for you douches!
That ball is high…it is far…it is…off the wall…so a double by ARod…and the Yankees are back in the game…it’s 4-2…no wait…they’re saying it’s gone…it’s a home run…HOW ARODIAN…he’s done it…ARod has tied Gehrig…
(Thought bubble) Let’s see heah (here)…how can I segue into child mahlestation…Aha! Got it!
A-Rod hit a grand slamma. Speakin’ ah grand slammas…
Ahm back in heaven ova here. Dis Sandusky stuff is just great. Every day brings a new anal advenchah. It’s biz-ah. It’s just awd.
(Self-satisfied smirk. Swigs Diet Coke. Breathes into microphone. Dead air.)
Sandusky, Sandusky, Sandusky – dat was fah those of you at home playin’ drinkin’ games.
Now if ya gonna drink, fine. But i have zero tolahrance fah drinkin’ and drivin’ and mahlestin’. Stay tuned fah my bold stances on mass genahcide and jaywalkin’.
75 Comments
Yuri Sucart June 12, 2012 22:22
It’s a shame that Alex will have to buy a ticket like me to get into Cooperstown.
Curt Schilling June 13, 2012 19:04
Hey, Yuri, quit stealing my lines!
Time of the Month June 14, 2012 16:48
Hey, Curt! I’m coming for you…
Brandon June 12, 2012 22:30
Sexy
Jay Destro June 13, 2012 15:10
Fag.
Sensitive RAB Guy June 13, 2012 22:30
what happened to jay destro’s weenie?
Jay Destro June 15, 2012 15:47
It fucked you.
Rafael Soriano June 12, 2012 22:43
Has anyone discovered my secret yet? The only time I pitch like my old self is when my hand is fucked up! You know… broken nail, blister, etc.
ARod the Centaur June 12, 2012 22:47
I can hook you up with my manicurist!
I'll Have Another June 13, 2012 12:44
Don’t forget the similarities to me! Drugs, declining performance…etc.
Barack Obama June 12, 2012 22:43
If I had a son he would look like A-Rod … and I would tax him like GE (that is zero taxes, boys and girls)
Joe Biden June 13, 2012 15:11
I did good, Barry? I did good?
Mark Teixeira June 12, 2012 22:48
Someday, I hope my horseface will be up on that list too!
I'll Have Another June 13, 2012 13:41
We should hang out and grab some milkshakes in the near future.
Mike Lupica June 12, 2012 22:54
Last night a team emerged on the road. Not a team with big stars or a big payroll, but a team that makes you want to watch them. A likeable team, a team that plays like a team. These men from Queens are a fun to watch and easy to root for. Why? Because they are a team. There are a lot of great stories in baseball, but the one in Queens is the one to watch. The Nationals, Stephen Strasburg is a nice kid, but woul you rather have him or RA Dickey? The Mets show you every night why they are a team. Last night in Tamps was one of those nights. The Sox got one last night to, The Yankees know that Bobby V’s team is coming.
Mike Francesa June 13, 2012 00:17
Get lawst
Costanza, George June 15, 2012 18:15
You are one of my favorite writers.
I have hand!
A Dirty Old Rock June 12, 2012 22:56
The Girardi/Cashman/Montero bitchers were about to come out from under me until ARod hit the grand slam.
Jim Leyritz's Cellmate June 13, 2012 07:35
Hey – we can still bitch. One home run does not make a season.
But that was pretty fucking ace by A-Rod last night. Great to see.
Bexy June 12, 2012 22:58
BREAKING NEWS…I want to hump ARod with my 400 pound rhinoceros ass …….
http://twitter.com/rebexarama/status/212730816923578368
mmmmm June 13, 2012 00:04
Hot piece of ass
TSJC June 13, 2012 15:13
You go near my white honky bitch and I’ll cut you. Cut you like a punk ass bitch in Rikers who don’t suck no cock.
Lou Brown June 12, 2012 23:01
Startin to come together Pepper, startin to come together…..
junk kicker June 12, 2012 23:04
He also likes chicks that are hung like horses.
Brian S. June 12, 2012 23:45
How many non-aces does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one: CC Sabathia.
AJ Burnett June 12, 2012 23:56
Screw lightbulbs, I just need my electric stuff.
Brian S. June 13, 2012 15:13
CC is good.
Joeybagonuts June 15, 2012 18:16
He’s the #5 pitcher on this team. He’s no ace…
rough truth June 13, 2012 00:14
AJ Burnett is killing it.
I'm Just Sayin' June 13, 2012 16:21
He’s playing OUTSIDE the AL East and in the National League, right?
I’m Just Sayin’
rough truth June 14, 2012 16:54
I like taking it up the ass hard.
Gary Cohen June 13, 2012 00:18
More cheap home runs for the New York Yankees.
Howie Rose June 13, 2012 00:19
Agree, aint it a shame how they move the fences back when the Mets hit, Gary?
Alex June 13, 2012 00:31
Hey bitches, I’m back, sooner than I’m sure you prophesied. You see that screamer I sent into the first row? How about you leave the baseball to me and just post pictures? Keep grabbin’ your junk, I got another comin’ soon for you douches!
Joe Morgan June 13, 2012 00:53
If Melky Cabrera wins a batting title before Robinson Cano I am going to kill some craker asses
Not funny June 13, 2012 01:07
http://i26.tinypic.com/20h4rrq.jpg
TSJC June 13, 2012 15:19
Cracka be hatin’.
Brett Gardner June 13, 2012 01:03
Yet another win that didn’t need me & my career 92 OPS+
Sensitive RAB Guy June 13, 2012 06:35
The Truth hates whitey
The Truth June 13, 2012 10:30
Uh noe he doesn’t. He hates dummies, if they happen to be white… oh well.
Shogun of Harlem June 13, 2012 12:52
aren’t all the whiteys dummies my brother?
TSJC June 13, 2012 15:13
MY NIGGA!
Dunbass Sox Fan June 14, 2012 16:58
EWW DAHHKIE!
Sensitive RAB Guy June 13, 2012 19:59
still say you guys are the same person
Babe Ruth Montero June 13, 2012 07:10
They are also doing it without me. That is very surprising, although they did win a mere 97 games without me last year.
Stephen Strasberg June 13, 2012 12:47
Also doing it without me! Never upgrade if you ever win a game!
Upgrade? June 13, 2012 13:45
Ibanez – .817 OPS
Montero – .702 OPS
Matzo June 13, 2012 15:14
Because comparing a 22 yr old catching prospect to a 40 yr old pro getting platoon splits is sensibile.
But giving Montero away for free was the right thing to do.
Barack Obama June 13, 2012 16:16
Why would any sane person judge a trade by one year?
A young 2011 All Star pitcher will return next year to the Yankees. He isn’t the first and won’t be the last pitcher that suffers an injury.
OPS+ June 13, 2012 09:59
It’s a good thing I weigh SLG equally to OBP.
rough truth June 13, 2012 01:27
Joe Morgan will choke a bitch!
Transexual Lover June 13, 2012 03:33
I’ll never forget the time ARod picked me up from the gym. There was hoof and cock everywhere.
Hoof and Cock Disease June 13, 2012 03:34
Is there a vaccine for that?
Dominique Strauss-Kahn June 13, 2012 20:48
Holy balls hell. I’m never drinking Uzo ever a-fucking-gain. Never.
AnnHellah Merkel June 13, 2012 21:33
DSK, why you never put your hands on me, you slut?
RimJob Mike June 13, 2012 05:38
What is it about Atlanta that makes the Yankees come alive and start beating the shit out of teams?
Scarlett O'Hara June 13, 2012 22:18
Fiddle-dee-DEE.
The Second Lady June 14, 2012 08:29
I wonder how many on here will get that…
The North June 13, 2012 05:39
We’ve occupied Atlanta since 1865.
Mike Francesa's Accent June 13, 2012 12:51
Ya mutha’s name is Atlanta?
Michael Scofield June 13, 2012 07:22
*Squints face and forehead extremely hard*
We’re breaking out again…with RISP.
Banky Edwards June 13, 2012 07:33
Sometimes – not often, but sometimes – I like the idea of a chick… with a horse.
Picture Editor June 13, 2012 07:48
You forgot A-Rod’s unicorn horn.
Mike L. NYDnewwz June 13, 2012 09:39
You can’t be an important sports writer if you don’t mention how much A-Rod makes, or that team payroll.
Ben Ka bak's Dad June 13, 2012 15:16
Can we sue this libel?
Sensitive RAB Guy June 13, 2012 22:32
a cease & desist will do.
ask nomaas.
John Sterling June 13, 2012 12:19
That ball is high…it is far…it is…off the wall…so a double by ARod…and the Yankees are back in the game…it’s 4-2…no wait…they’re saying it’s gone…it’s a home run…HOW ARODIAN…he’s done it…ARod has tied Gehrig…
Mike Francesa's Accent June 13, 2012 12:49
(Thought bubble) Let’s see heah (here)…how can I segue into child mahlestation…Aha! Got it!
A-Rod hit a grand slamma. Speakin’ ah grand slammas…
Ahm back in heaven ova here. Dis Sandusky stuff is just great. Every day brings a new anal advenchah. It’s biz-ah. It’s just awd.
(Self-satisfied smirk. Swigs Diet Coke. Breathes into microphone. Dead air.)
Sandusky, Sandusky, Sandusky – dat was fah those of you at home playin’ drinkin’ games.
Now if ya gonna drink, fine. But i have zero tolahrance fah drinkin’ and drivin’ and mahlestin’. Stay tuned fah my bold stances on mass genahcide and jaywalkin’.
Here’s Mistah Met.
The Truth June 13, 2012 14:46
Between Lupica & Fatcessa I don’t know which I enjoy more. Francesa by a chin, gut and ass.
Yanko June 13, 2012 13:20
I love NoMaas for this!
BEXY June 13, 2012 15:20
I SAID I WANTED A GODDAMMM BURRITO WITH EXTRA CHEESE
Joe Páwlikowski June 13, 2012 15:15
I have jerkoff material ready for the next 3 hours.
The "W" department June 13, 2012 15:52
Don’t look now…….
rough truth June 13, 2012 21:36
Angela Merkel gives a hell of a hand-job.
Dallas Braden June 14, 2012 08:57
What the fuck?!?!?! Why is there a pile of horseshit on my fuckin’ mound?