In his partial defense, he rocked the shit out of that foul ball. I was sitting in that general area during last night’s game. Straight line drive right at my section lol.
Another day another towering triumph for our favorite small-market heroes, the Boston Red Sox. Last night they displayed why they are indeed the best team in baseball right now: the fact of the matter is, their newly rejuvenated squad will be impossible to beat. With the studly Jacoby Ellsbury and Game 162 hero Carl Crawford back to take over the outfield once again, the Sox are sure to go 118-44 for the rest of the season. A-Gone saved the game, never mind his costly error and his awful time in RF, he is still a Gold Glover this year, book it. Carl Crawford’s fountain was reopened. Future Hall-of-Famer Pedro Ciriaco continues to be a fan favorite, until he hits a slump of course, then the Organization will trade his ass. David Ortiz left the game with a bruised vagina, with a generous supply of milkshakes he is sure to get better soon.
Fuhget the Blue Jays, they’re awfahl an’ I’m knee-deep in child mahlesters over on the FAN.
(Breathes into microphone, scratches one of his chins, sips Diet Coke, gives a wry, I-just-farted-and-it’s-gonna-really-smell type of grin.)
Now they report dat Sandusky jus’ started his children’s football camp tah mahlest ‘em. Which despite bein’ shockingly obvious warrants a tree-hour (three-hour) discussion.
Know wut I’d like tah heah (hear)? A Jon Sterlin’ home run call for a Sanducky ass-rape. It is high! It is hard! It is GONE!! Right in the Keister, Meester! Sandusky goes Sodomy!
43 Comments
Brendan Frazer from Bedazzel July 16, 2012 23:49
RAAAAUUULLLLL…. How could you?
Rauul July 17, 2012 12:04
I avada kedavra’d that ball.
Brett Gardner July 16, 2012 23:58
My elbow flared up again holding Raul’s tool box with his big spot grand slam wrench in it.
Jose "Limp Wrist" Bitch-teaseya July 17, 2012 00:05
“That ball hit my wrist, I did NOT just hurt it swinging the bat, like some she-male!”
NYCHitman1 July 17, 2012 13:05
In his partial defense, he rocked the shit out of that foul ball. I was sitting in that general area during last night’s game. Straight line drive right at my section lol.
Brett Pedroia July 17, 2012 00:07
Come on! Come on!
Joe Paterno July 17, 2012 00:44
Dear Brett
Wanna rape some boys in the shower? Go right ahead. I will protect you.
The Pope July 17, 2012 01:28
Amateurs.
Muhammad July 17, 2012 06:42
You don’t know what you’re talking about infidel.
Muhammad (PHUH) July 17, 2012 11:39
How dare you steal my name and commit blasphemy. You will be beheaded and then we will stone your corpse.
As far as Pedroia is concerned, there is no harm no foul. Muhammad (PBUH) married Aisha when she was 9 years old. Therefore, this is acceptable.
Boomer Esiason July 17, 2012 12:04
In before bombing
Captain Clutch July 17, 2012 00:17
Schwarza for the Academy Awards. Just Golden!
Raul Ibanez July 17, 2012 00:25
Remember when I told you I’d just get a single? I lied.
Sully July 17, 2012 00:31
Damn you.
matrix July 17, 2012 02:05
Fuck *you,* asshole
Raul Ibanez July 17, 2012 07:33
Screw youuuuu!!!
Mexican Maid July 17, 2012 15:36
Oh he’ll get around to that.
Joe Girardi July 17, 2012 21:36
A bloop single would have been just as good.
Robooooinson Cano July 17, 2012 00:45
If I wasn’t behind ARod – would he ever see a fast ball again?
A-Rod feat. KC and the Sunshine Band July 17, 2012 21:27
So please don’t go
Cano…
Don’t go away
Please don’t go
Cano…
I’m begging you to stay
Alan M July 17, 2012 01:20
Genius photoshop. Recognize
Carlos Beltran July 17, 2012 01:31
I give Swisher a 6.5 out of 10 on the frozen by an offspeed pitch scale.
G.I. Jew July 17, 2012 02:41
Ya call these bagels?!
A jerk July 17, 2012 05:49
But I thought you guys were clamoring for Travis Hafner!!!!
Raul to NoMaas – Suck it!
Babe Ruth Montero July 17, 2012 12:56
Hafner is a left handed hitting version of me.
Adam Dunn July 17, 2012 15:33
Nope, nomaas was always clamoring for me. How would that move have looked after last year’s fluke awful season?
Yeah, I thought so…
Ozzie Guillen July 17, 2012 21:29
FUCK YOU BRO! YOU SAYING THAT SHIT WAS MY FAULT?
Bryce Harper July 17, 2012 21:29
That’s a clown question bro…
Osteoporosis July 17, 2012 06:18
Side effect of steroids
100 Wins July 17, 2012 06:34
Here I come.
Eric Ortiz July 17, 2012 12:16
Another day another towering triumph for our favorite small-market heroes, the Boston Red Sox. Last night they displayed why they are indeed the best team in baseball right now: the fact of the matter is, their newly rejuvenated squad will be impossible to beat. With the studly Jacoby Ellsbury and Game 162 hero Carl Crawford back to take over the outfield once again, the Sox are sure to go 118-44 for the rest of the season. A-Gone saved the game, never mind his costly error and his awful time in RF, he is still a Gold Glover this year, book it. Carl Crawford’s fountain was reopened. Future Hall-of-Famer Pedro Ciriaco continues to be a fan favorite, until he hits a slump of course, then the Organization will trade his ass. David Ortiz left the game with a bruised vagina, with a generous supply of milkshakes he is sure to get better soon.
Reality July 17, 2012 13:20
What about your mouthy dildo of a manager?
Dellin Betances July 17, 2012 15:44
He invented the wrap!
Col. John Matrix July 17, 2012 06:51
So happy that I finally made a photoshop at NoMaas!
Bennett's Soldier July 17, 2012 09:05
Slitting a bluejay’s throat is like cutting through warm butter.
Bennett July 17, 2012 09:39
Put the knife away and shut your mouth.
Brian S. July 17, 2012 09:20
They also stinky
Carl Crawford July 17, 2012 12:04
I’m back!
New England Cop July 17, 2012 12:25
It’s typical that you would return on a Monday.
John Sterling July 17, 2012 13:19
Raul! SO cool!
Tom Riddle July 17, 2012 13:27
I’m a professional hitter.
Mike Francesa's Accent July 17, 2012 13:53
Fuhget the Blue Jays, they’re awfahl an’ I’m knee-deep in child mahlesters over on the FAN.
(Breathes into microphone, scratches one of his chins, sips Diet Coke, gives a wry, I-just-farted-and-it’s-gonna-really-smell type of grin.)
Now they report dat Sandusky jus’ started his children’s football camp tah mahlest ‘em. Which despite bein’ shockingly obvious warrants a tree-hour (three-hour) discussion.
Know wut I’d like tah heah (hear)? A Jon Sterlin’ home run call for a Sanducky ass-rape. It is high! It is hard! It is GONE!! Right in the Keister, Meester! Sandusky goes Sodomy!
Here’s Mr. Met.
Joe Paterno's Statue July 17, 2012 15:50
He was what?!? A guy can’t rape a guy right? Like it doesn’t work that way. I mean when I was at Brown we did some things, but never raped.
I’m old. I don’t know what I’m doing. Is that poop in my pants?