I want you and the rest of your family to get pig AIDS then be dumped in a nuclear reactor. So that you or any of your progeny or forefathers are allowed further damage the gene pool
Before his baseball career, Ortiz also starred as the sassy waitress Shirley on the short lived late ’70′s sitcom “What’s Happening” with Raj, Rerun and Dwayne. Hey Hey Hey !!!
Three errors?? Ahem, I believe that was 1 and 2 infield hits.. Don’t pay any attention to Alex playing 35 ft off the baseline either… I still got range
If only an imbecile like you were managing. We could have a huge lead in the toughest division in baseball, while waiting for the return of CC, Pettite, Gardner and Joba.
As we enter the all-star break the beloved Red Sox find themselves in a tie for 4th place. However, they are still in playoff contention thanks to Bud Selig’s modified playoff system. The Sox have not only 1 but now 2 wild card spots to fight for giving every fan in Beantown something to strive for in the 2nd half. Carl Crawford & Jacoby Ellsbury should be back any month now and Clay Buchholz’ bad case of menstraul cramps should be gone after the break. This team will be locked & loaded on offense & starting pitching. As for the bullpen, once Andrew Bailey’s thumb is removed from Josh Beckett ‘s asshole he will certainly solidify the closer’s spot pushing the likes of Alfredo Aceves, Vincente Padilla, & Mark Melancon back shortening up games for our vaunted staff. Last but not least is the emergence of future hall of famer Pedro Ciraico at SS. He’s already surpassed Derek Jeter in that spot and should be starting the aa-star game for the AL. Adrian Gonzalez has been on the back of a milk carton in the 1st half but looks to be found now and he will carry the Sox into the playoffs. Major League Baseball has been put on notice by yours truly. After all, I am a soothsayer.
I’ll step out of character to say how silly this post is. The Red Sox are 2 1/2 games out of the second Wild Card spot, which currently belongs to the juggernaut known as the Baltimore Orioles. They’re not selling anything.
That Nix can play anywhere. He provides gold glove caliber defense at every position, and he gets a hit every time he comes to the plate. He said he wants to do whatever he can to help the team. I know that some people want him to sell popcorn in the stands instead of ever playing third base again after Saturday night, but he really is a gamer and has a nice smile. This discussion of Nix’s under-reported abilities was brought to you by WB Mason… Who Else (TM)?
Phil "Monster Jaws" Hughes July 9, 2012 10:33Reply
If ti wasn’t for me, it would have been a sweep. Sorry guys, I was gnawing on my usual bison bones the night before and I must have gotten one that was a little old. I’ll only eat fresh bison from now on out.
62 Comments
nick July 9, 2012 00:16
first
Guy Who Overreacts to People Posting "First" on Message Boards July 9, 2012 00:21
Fuck yourself with a chainsaw.
nick July 9, 2012 00:24
awesome
Vicente Padilla July 9, 2012 01:09
u are RACIST. u cry and cry about everyting. u shuld play womens sport………
R2-D2 July 9, 2012 00:58
I want you and the rest of your family to get pig AIDS then be dumped in a nuclear reactor. So that you or any of your progeny or forefathers are allowed further damage the gene pool
Ben Ka bak's Dad July 9, 2012 15:55
Sue time?
Sensitive RAB Guy July 11, 2012 00:53
the 2nd-best gay star wars robot is back
ESPN Headline July 9, 2012 01:08
Random dumbass ‘nick’ was the first to comment on nomaas’s article today!
ESPN2 Headline July 9, 2012 09:33
Random dumbass makes same joke every time someone posts “first” on message board
Joe Páwlikowski July 9, 2012 15:55
Third!
Barack Obama July 10, 2012 07:13
Ahhh the demise of the white, that’s what I’m talking about … give me a second term and they will be out of baseball … forever!
David 'Precious' Ortiz July 9, 2012 00:34
based on the novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire
Bexy July 9, 2012 01:10
Not Andy, but I’d still hit it
Obscure Reference Guy July 9, 2012 09:42
Ortiz also reminds me of Esther Rolle (Good Times) the guy is a walking caricature.
TV Guide July 9, 2012 14:48
Before his baseball career, Ortiz also starred as the sassy waitress Shirley on the short lived late ’70′s sitcom “What’s Happening” with Raj, Rerun and Dwayne. Hey Hey Hey !!!
The Truth July 9, 2012 18:52
I thought he starred in Gimme A Break, the series that launched the career of Joey Lawrence.
boats July 9, 2012 00:41
hahaha either this picture is great or i’m high as a motherfucker
Joba Jaw July 9, 2012 00:48
Gonna go with
(c): All of the above
laurie fine's vagina July 9, 2012 00:54
best photoshop ever
Laura Posada July 9, 2012 01:26
http://www.sectalk.com/board/public/imported_images/sectalk.com/Laura_Posada-1.jpg
rob balis July 9, 2012 07:05
thank you .
Fastballs July 9, 2012 00:54
Has anyone read the scouting report on Andruw Jones? Why does he still see me?
Idiot July 9, 2012 01:27
My scouting report of Andruw just has a bunch of smiley faces drawn on it…
Derek Jeter July 9, 2012 01:27
Three errors?? Ahem, I believe that was 1 and 2 infield hits.. Don’t pay any attention to Alex playing 35 ft off the baseline either… I still got range
Right shoulder July 9, 2012 01:45
You better watch yourself muthafucka.
Joe Girardi July 9, 2012 01:30
Love me some Corey Wade..
Big Picture July 9, 2012 08:43
That type of crap doesn’t matter to me. We have a big lead with rested and healthy core players. What else could you ask for?
The Binder July 9, 2012 12:20
When you have a modest lead, you should play the infield in. Better to open up the possibility of a big inning than give up a meaningless run.
Joe Girardi July 9, 2012 12:42
If only an imbecile like you were managing. We could have a huge lead in the toughest division in baseball, while waiting for the return of CC, Pettite, Gardner and Joba.
Average RAB guy July 9, 2012 03:38
Racist and inappropriate.
Eric Ortiz July 9, 2012 06:23
As we enter the all-star break the beloved Red Sox find themselves in a tie for 4th place. However, they are still in playoff contention thanks to Bud Selig’s modified playoff system. The Sox have not only 1 but now 2 wild card spots to fight for giving every fan in Beantown something to strive for in the 2nd half. Carl Crawford & Jacoby Ellsbury should be back any month now and Clay Buchholz’ bad case of menstraul cramps should be gone after the break. This team will be locked & loaded on offense & starting pitching. As for the bullpen, once Andrew Bailey’s thumb is removed from Josh Beckett ‘s asshole he will certainly solidify the closer’s spot pushing the likes of Alfredo Aceves, Vincente Padilla, & Mark Melancon back shortening up games for our vaunted staff. Last but not least is the emergence of future hall of famer Pedro Ciraico at SS. He’s already surpassed Derek Jeter in that spot and should be starting the aa-star game for the AL. Adrian Gonzalez has been on the back of a milk carton in the 1st half but looks to be found now and he will carry the Sox into the playoffs. Major League Baseball has been put on notice by yours truly. After all, I am a soothsayer.
Mark Jackson July 9, 2012 07:18
You’re better than this Nomaas. Says the man being blackmailed by a stripper.
Brian S. July 9, 2012 08:13
They got some stinkY
Slave owner July 9, 2012 08:23
I don’t want this one, he’s not built like an ox (slapping his belly). What else you got? Nothing?! Just Latinos?!
Mark Teixiera July 9, 2012 08:34
I hate Latinos!
Jarrod Slitalamilkia July 9, 2012 10:29
Stop stealing my lines!
Vicente Padilla July 9, 2012 11:54
thas what I SAY…. i call u racist and then make sexist remark LOL
Padilla's Cap July 9, 2012 11:57
How the fuck do I stay on his greasy head?
Lice July 9, 2012 23:09
We grab it and hold it down.
Mike Francesa's Accent July 9, 2012 08:49
I’ll step out of character to say how silly this post is. The Red Sox are 2 1/2 games out of the second Wild Card spot, which currently belongs to the juggernaut known as the Baltimore Orioles. They’re not selling anything.
Mike Francesa's Accent July 9, 2012 11:18
Ya don’t like dis? Shit on it an rotate, muthafuckah.
Here’s Mr. Met.
Windbag Waldman July 9, 2012 09:09
That Nix can play anywhere. He provides gold glove caliber defense at every position, and he gets a hit every time he comes to the plate. He said he wants to do whatever he can to help the team. I know that some people want him to sell popcorn in the stands instead of ever playing third base again after Saturday night, but he really is a gamer and has a nice smile. This discussion of Nix’s under-reported abilities was brought to you by WB Mason… Who Else (TM)?
Tr-State Ford Dealer July 9, 2012 12:55
Hey, have you been to Jeter’s Place lately? You really should check it out.
Don’t call it an error, call it a “defensive faux paus”.
He’s got an Edge baby!!!
Mark Teixiera July 9, 2012 09:23
Anyone up for a game of field hockey? Whites only!
Sully July 9, 2012 10:55
*raises hand*
Over heah! No Italians either.
rob balis July 9, 2012 12:48
im italian american
fuck you sully
Sully July 9, 2012 16:39
I learned all I need to know about you guys from watching “True Romance.”
Guineas from Providence July 9, 2012 13:26
Irish, ain’t that European for Dahkie?
Frenchies from the rest of R.I. July 9, 2012 13:44
Vive le Quebecois!!!!!!!!
Frenchies from the rest of R.I. July 10, 2012 05:31
No that’s Italian for eggplant.
Darnell Macdonald July 9, 2012 12:55
Damn, and I thought I left that all behind…
Mike L. NYDnewwz July 9, 2012 10:25
Lets write about payrolls and how unfair it is.
Phil "Monster Jaws" Hughes July 9, 2012 10:33
If ti wasn’t for me, it would have been a sweep. Sorry guys, I was gnawing on my usual bison bones the night before and I must have gotten one that was a little old. I’ll only eat fresh bison from now on out.
Advice July 9, 2012 11:05
gnaw on some funny bones before you pick a new character.
Phil Hughes "Out" Pitch July 9, 2012 12:56
Anyone seen me around lately?
Ben Kaa BaK's Dad July 9, 2012 13:54
Can we sue you for lame comedy?
Socks July 9, 2012 12:10
We are 50-63 since last September 1st.
Or 43-43 in 2012 and tied for last place at the AS break…
CJ July 9, 2012 13:57
Best part is Brett Pedroia on the painting.
Phil Hughes* July 9, 2012 14:18
Was I the guy that prevented the sweep & gave the sox hope. Yes I was.
Defense July 9, 2012 17:23
No that was me. You didn’t even pitch that bad.
Jay Destro's Weenie July 9, 2012 15:56
Ortiz is hot.
JoeJoe July 9, 2012 23:07
From Bill Simmons twitter:
I can’t believe how profoundly screwed up the 2012 Red Sox are behind the scenes. The stories I am hearing in KC are just unfathomable.