NoMaas News Network (NNN):
NASHVILLE (NNN) — As the Winter Meetings ended on Thursday afternoon, a report surfaced which indicated the New York Yankees declined to meet with this year’s marquee free agent, Josh Hamilton, despite the star outfielder specifically requesting a visit with Yankees’ General Manager Brian Cashman.
“Josh was willing to offer his services for free,” remarked Hamilton’s agent, Mike Moye. “He really wants to play in those historic pinstripes, and wouldn’t require one dollar to play there.”
Spending his last 5 seasons with the Rangers, the 31-year old All-Star has reportedly been in discussions with Seattle for a deal worth $20-$25 million annually. However, the former AL MVP is willing to waive his salary completely to play for baseball’s most iconic franchise.
In his final press conference of the Winter Meetings, Brian Cashman addressed the Hamilton report.
“Yes, it’s true. Josh Hamilton and his agent requested an appointment with me,” stated the building rappelling executive. “It’s also true that he offered to forfeit his salary to play for us.”
Cashman went on to explain that he shared Hamilton’s unique request with Hal Steinbrenner and Randy Levine, but both of his superiors refused to grant authority for a meeting.
“Hal told me he didn’t want to pay for the extra electricity it would cost to wash Hamilton’s uniform, while Randy said he would only sign Josh for 15 years / $1.7 billion.”
The 45-year old GM concluded his presser by saying he’s “comfortable with the offseason strategy to date” and then repeated the phrase “due diligence” forty-seven times.




37 Comments
Tequila Sally December 6, 2012 22:22
I am a little concerned about the stuff that is going down
wesley snipes December 6, 2012 22:29
Always bet on black.
stuart phillips December 6, 2012 22:31
Hell he will regret it.
Moshe Mandel December 6, 2012 22:43
A GM after my own heeb heart.
Yankees December 7, 2012 00:13
Would you guys sign Hamilton for 3-60? I think most people don’t want him because they don’t want a druggie into his late 30′s but he’d probably put up like 15 WAR over those three years ya dig?
Sensitive RAB Guy December 7, 2012 16:12
F WAR and anyone who cites it in a f*ing blog comment.
Aging Hippie December 8, 2012 22:56
Yah, whatever, man.
DormantUlcer December 9, 2012 04:55
People act like Dallas is a small town. 4th largest city in US
WAR December 15, 2012 20:48
What is this stat good for? Absolutely nothing. Say it once again.
Me December 7, 2012 00:15
Finally a truly funny post.
It’s been awhile.
Nick Social December 7, 2012 00:27
I like you, Nomaas.
Don’t ever change.
I Love This December 7, 2012 00:29
I love these new posts like this. It’s like The Onion for the Yankees comical management of the team. Keep ‘em coming!
Impeach John & Suzyn December 7, 2012 13:35
Yes. NoMaas much better with light sarcasm than hysterical whining. Due dilignece.
Moneyballs December 7, 2012 20:08
http://goo.gl/kNN8D
Bob Watson December 7, 2012 00:43
Brian,
As your predecessor, let me give you some advice. Grow some balls and quit.
Brian Cashman December 7, 2012 02:30
“When the dust settles, we’re going to be a team that teams aren’t going to be comfortable playing.”
The Yankee Fan Masses December 7, 2012 02:31
We’re gonna hold you to that, motherfucker.
Lee McPhail December 7, 2012 07:56
Cashman, you whiny piece of shit. Fuck you and the fucking madwoman you rode in on.
And I’m already in the Hall, so I can say whatever the fuck I want to ass-kissing little shit turd fuckwads like you. Eat that, you Steinbrenner toady.
Worried Visiting Batboy December 8, 2012 13:17
So it’s true? The Yankees are hiring Brett Pedroia as a Visiting Clubhouse Attendant?
Ron Ben-Israel December 7, 2012 09:23
Genius.
Razor December 7, 2012 09:30
The Yankee brass are surely nuts. Any one would at least listen to someone
Who would practically come for almost nothing considering the Yankees needs.
Pickup, Razor, the cluephone is ringing. December 7, 2012 12:43
The report is by the NoMaas News Network. It’s a joke, man.
Jeff December 7, 2012 21:10
Hal is waiting for Oscar Gamble to come out of retirement ??
Jeff December 7, 2012 21:21
In a twi- light zone doorway to another dimension
The Yankees would have lost in a sweep in 1994 to that 1970 back- up Yanx outfielder named Felipe Alou and his young studs- 1973 back- up
And , who knows no Rick Monday HR 1981???
Steve Rogers, Sanderson, Gillickson and Lea (RIP) big time @ the Bronx???
Some computer nerd needs to buy the Yanx!!
Mark Cuban????! Kkkkkkkl
Poor Yankee fans- they may need to buy a scorecard to learn new names and career rap sheets
Boo hoo hoo
Merry Christmas
By the way- who comprises the Joe G goon squad? Nunez , Melky Mesa? …. Pass the scorecard and a few liters if ale. Long year ahead with jays and o birds. Flying higher.
Maybe Bud Selig would have another ownership swap. John Henry or Jeff LOria swap clubs. That way LOria could place another art exhibit next to the busts of Babe, Lou , Joltin Joe , Mickey
whitey and compass an Andy Warhol theme.
All run by his pip squeak son in law.
They know how to make minor investors disappear aka. Montreal!!! Kkkkk
Jeff December 7, 2012 21:24
News flash. ! Hal is taking advice from George Costanza!!!!!
Hal December 8, 2012 01:13
News flash! Jeff is on meth!!!
Mickey M. December 8, 2012 09:32
Yankees usually do well with Alcoholics.
Babe Ruth December 9, 2012 15:51
That’s true.
DormantUlcer December 8, 2012 11:43
Seems legit.
Viktor Rostavili December 8, 2012 15:52
Go and kiss your mother’s behind.
Josh Brent December 8, 2012 20:56
Isn’t it ironic that I was listening to Bone Thugs n Harmony’s Meet you at the Crossroads when I flipped that car?
DormantUlcer December 9, 2012 04:53
So when does the tag line change to ‘if we had 189 mill….’
Josh Brent December 9, 2012 11:35
Sunday is game day!
I just play a different game nowadays.
It’s called hide from the Aryan Vanguard.
NoMaas December 9, 2012 15:35
If we had 200 million dollars…we would be the Dodgers
Dodgers December 9, 2012 23:23
Tell me how my ass taste!
TSJC December 12, 2012 09:55
Like strawberries.
Kei Igawa December 10, 2012 15:53
Remember me? I like money!!!