Derek Lee, Scott Rolen…who else will be the target of the most iconic franchise in American sports?
Give me your tired, your poor,
Your aged platoon bats yearning to swing free,
The wretched refuse of your benches.
Send these, the teamless, oft-injured to me,
I lift my lamp beside the stadium door!
12 Comments
Chipper Jones March 11, 2013 20:54
What about me?!
saucY March 13, 2013 10:51
The best part about you signing with us, would be the giant “fuck you” message it would send to Atlanta.
Wade Boggs March 11, 2013 20:59
If I can bring Margo on road trips you got a deal. Oh and two boxes of Popeye’s before each game.
Mike Francesa's Accent March 11, 2013 22:40
I jus’ like gettin tah say “chippah” ova an ova.
Carlos Lee March 12, 2013 05:56
I’m available and probably closest to ML ready. I also eat horses.
Emma Lazarus March 12, 2013 09:36
“The wretched refuse of your benches”?????
WTF No Maas?? That neither scans nor rhymes!!
“The wretched All-Star from two thousand-four”?
“The wretched refuse from so long before”?
“The wretched regular from days of yore”?
“The wretched refuse whose last teams’ ignore”?
Johnny Damon March 12, 2013 09:37
I offered to play for MINIMUM WAGE. You need outfielders. Hey Cashman, where’s the reward for my loyalty? I even kept your secret safe…I haven’t told a soul about the hidden abortion clinic you set up behind the bookcase in your office. People are always asking why women with tears streaming down their faces are being escorted out of your office, and I ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS cover for you.
The French March 12, 2013 10:20
We gave you the Statute of Liberty and half of Russell Martin. Beggars can’t be choosers.
The French March 12, 2013 10:21
The Statue of Liberty also.
The French March 13, 2013 21:25
We already have one.
Ki m Last March 14, 2013 15:09
Lumps.
makemesomefoodho March 12, 2013 11:18
they might as well call yogi and ask him to be their catcher while theyre at it.