We also continue to be emotionally touched that the Rock Guy from Neverending Story entered our rap contest. And in tribute, we present the following...

No habla inglés:

Great entries this year, and once again proof that the people who visit this site have a few screws loose.

The NoMaas staff reviewed all the submissions and chose 5 finalists. You have until 2pm EST on Friday, Feb 25th to vote for your favorite. The winner will get a free one of these.

FYI - In selecting the finalists, we stuck to those who followed the rules. It was only fair. But, there were some really good verses that went over the 4 lines, and some other verses that had nothing to do with the Yankees, but we were incredibly funny. We gave props to some of these below.

So here we go...

Finalist #1: P_C_
The Yanks can win w/o King Felix I really mean this
You’re over the line Donny, nobody fucks with the Jesus
Lee chose a 2nd rate city thats a bad decision
Becketts from Texas…non steer division

Finalist #2: MC Squared
The Yankees are usually the team to beat
But this rotation scares me like Chris Hanson just came in & suggested I have a seat
Oh well, you can’t blame Cashman for not getting Cliff Lee
Now that Joba is fat he better pitch like CC

Finalist #3: Corky
My kingdom for a bad haircut, thy name is Derek Jeter
Getting older and older, can’t catch up to a heater
My head looks like Tiger Woods when he tees off
My OBP plummets, but I’ll still hit leadoff

Finalist #4: Razor Shines
What a rough off-season, it’s such a pity
Cliff Lee didn’t want to go to New York City
You knuckledraggers just learned a lesson in life
It’s not nice to spit on another man’s wife

Finalist #5: Trevor McYankeefan
The look of this rotation is making me shiver
Rotten to the core, like Mantle’s liver
Even though Derek Jeter is my hero and idol
The Yanks could crash and burn, like Munson and Lidle

VOTE!!

Honorable Mentions:

Jeet Skeet - Set to Notorious BIG's "Juicy"
It was all a dream,
I used to bang every chick on a magazine,
Po & Mo, and Andy P up in the limousine,
Countin’ rings every fall,
Every Saturday,Jess,Vaness, n’ Mink, I can’t name them all
I let me fade rock as my skills flopped,
Drinkin’ my G2 with Malibu, reminiscin’ on the bloody sock
Way back, before they had that f*g Youk the Lumberjack,
take a crap whenever he was up to bat,
Remember that fu*kin’ douche…Millar, Millar
never thought a replacement player would make it this far,
Now I’m in the limelight, because of my decline right?
But I got paid, blow up like the Cliff Lee trade
My hair is thinner, the opposite of thicker
remember when I used to get to ground balls much quicker?
Peace to my OBP…GIDP and no SB,
Is what you can expect from me
I’m gettin’ old like you thought I would
Call it quits, just like you said I should
cause i’m not…good

And if you don’t know you know…. half n**ga

The Rock Guy from the Neverending Story - (Absolutely hilarious)
My hands, don’t they look so big and strong?
But when “The Nothing” came through, everything went wrong!
My friends got blown away, what a horrible night
Now this kid and his horse need to make things right!

Punk, you know the rules.

1. Write a 4-line verse with at least one reference to any member of the Yankees org.
2. We'll pick the Top 5 verses and then put them up for public vote.
3. Include your real email address if you want to be eligible.
4. You can enter as many times as you want.

Winner gets a free one of these.

Drop it!

And for a little inspiration...

So, we're opening it up to all of our visitors to post your own Josh Beckett sponsorship message. We'll choose our favorite and send it along to Baseball-Reference. Keep in mind that any sponsorship message needs to be approved by B-R, so vulgar entries won't fly. Get creative.

This would likely not be approved.

What happened when I promised to kill you last?

The correct answer:

And the winners are:
Twitter - @310tojoba, @erikfrins, @johnnydaman, @realet, @tmo50
Facebook - JJ Foley

Is there a shortcut home?

The correct answer can be found by watching one of the greatest sequences in cinematic history:

Crazy proppage to these NoMaasians who were the first few to know the right answer:

Twitter: @Escamillo222, @JohnnyDaMan, @rayblay, @NHSurf
Facebook: Dan Oldis, Sean Logue, Tom Zegarelli, Tom Murphy

If you want to participate in these trivia contests that have nothing to do with the Yankees, make sure you follow us on Twitter or Facebook.

Congratulations to Doug McKenzie a.k.a J[ob]a Rule for taking home 34% of the vote with the following verse:

Grands got range like Cameron, except he gets hits,
Tex like constipation – yo, he don’t drop sh*t,
Pete Abe on a ham run, Papi’s growing tits,
Red Sox-tober vacation, Brett Pedroia to baby sit

Doug has selected the "In the beginning, God created the heavens and Mariano" T-shirt. We'll be shipping that shirt out international, because he lives up in Vancouver, British Columbia.

The funniest part about all of this is when we emailed him with a simple congratulations, he responded with this:

Yo, I drop rhymes like tek drop knuckleballs,
Saw mad entries, I spit better than y'all,
My sh*t hit hard like nolan in ventura brawls,
Perenial favorite like the yankees in the fall.

Seriously, thanks a lot guys, I really appreciate all you do with this
site. You are far and away my favorite website since my friend Bryan
turned me on to you a few years back, and I know you work really hard
to keep coming up with funky ass sh*t like every single day.

Amazing. The people who visit this site are a unique breed.

After painstaking review of all of the submitted verses, the NoMaas staff selected five rhymes as the finalists. These microphone fiends are now one step closer to winning a free T-shirt of their choice and going down in the annals (grow up) of NoMaas history.

Without further ado, here are your NoMaas Rap Contest Finalists (in no particular order):

Grands got range like Cameron, except he gets hits,
Tex like constipation – yo, he don’t drop sh*t,
Pete Abe on a ham run, Papi’s growing tits,
Red Sox-tober vacation, Brett Pedroia to baby sit
-J[ob]a Rule

Fans love to hate, got 25 million reasons
check my OPS son, almost a G in 16 seasons
Selena holla’d juicer, fans yell purple lips
Still hangin 8 ball VORPs, don’t need 2 good hips
-13

He takes no sh*t from Boras, makes him seem unstable

And on weekends, if he’s feelin’ it, bends Ken Williams over a table

Got some mad ninja skills, it ain’t even funny

Now keep out the way, here comes CA$H MONEY


-Joe LA

mo money no problems take a swing at this heater
so good we let Godzilla loose I play the hole like Jeter
they lackeys getting diced we juicing hitting bombs
im getting ready for 28 selling meth with jobas mom
-SunTanSuperMan

In Ca$hmoney We Trust should be on every coin in this nation
Theo would be begging for change to take his team on vacation
Instead of playing ball go to the Jersey Shore and play some hooky
The Sawx got so little game they couldn’t get laid by Snooki
-Karim Garcia

So let the people know who spit the hottest fire. Vote for your favorite rhyme by selecting the name of the corresponding verse writer. Polls close on Wednesday night!

Write a 4-line verse involving any member of the Yankees' organization. We'll take the Top 3 verses and put them up for a public vote. We'll ship the shirt out to the winner.

To enter, just write your lyrical masterpiece in the comment field and make sure you include your real e-mail address. You can enter as many times as you want.

Good luck and start spittin'.

What's the matter dawg, you embarrassed? Your brother can't be 'round kids without parents.